Top Ten

We all love David Letter.man, right? (Please don't tell me you watch L.eno...) He is funny, Chiropractic is funny, so it was only a matter of time before his writers came up with a top 10 on this subject. Granted, though, it was aired in 1994, and a lot has changed since then. Like now maybe Jon Stew.art is funnier.

Letter.man's Top 10 Signs You've Gone to a Bad Chiropractor

10. When you walk, you make a wacky accordion sound.

9. Keeps saying, "A spine is like a box of chocolates."

8. Repeatedly asks, "You a cop? You sure you aint' no cop?"

7. Over and over, you hear crunching sounds followed by, "Uh-oh."

6. There's a two-drink minimum.

5. At end of session, lies down on the table and says, "My turn!"

4. He was nowhere near Woodstock and yet he's covered with mud.

3. Rushes in late to your appointment still wearing his Burger King uniform.

2. Hints that for an extra $50, he'll "straighten" something else.

1. You're fully clothed and he's naked.

Ha! Ha!
Since I'm a funny gal, I'll counter with a top ten list of my own. Except it won't be as funny.

Dr. Fagen's Top Ten signs you need a Chiropractor

10. You make a crackling sound when you nod yes or no.

9. One of your legs is longer than the other. Seriously, if you find yourself walking in circles, your seamstress has to do more work on the right leg than the left, or you just notice being 'off' - this can indicate pelvic unleveling, a major contributor to back pain.

8. Old people comment that you walk like an old person. Hunched is not flattering on anyone.

7. Your back pain is affecting your social life. When you are not just in pain, but can no longer participate in the things that make life enjoyable - well, you are choosing pain over life. See a chiropractor.

6. You are known as the 'girl with the bad back'. C'mon... there are better ways to get a reputation!

5. Your fashion is dictated by pain.
When your low back demands that you wear orthopedic flats all the time or carry a (gasp) backpack purse, you need a chiropractor.

4. You can't check your blindspot. Drive (carefully!!) to the chiropractor at once!

3. The top shelf of all your closets is wasted space - because you can't raise your arm to reach there. Did you know that chiropractors help shoulders?

2. You've tried everything else! We love a challenge...

1. You are moved to tears by the robax.acet commercials... you really relate to that dancing wooden puppet!