Anxious & Aware
For many of us, anxiety can be a paralyzing experience. It fills our bodies with fear, clouds our
heads, and subconsciously tears apart our hopes and dreams with its criticism
and doubt. What I found most infuriating
about anxiety, is how it would keep me stuck.
It’s as if I were in a chokehold.
For years, I perceived anxiety as the worst thing in the world. Anxiety was the devil itself. Unfortunately, this perspective didn’t get me
very far.
What was even more maddening was how ineffective I was with
coping with it. For years, I would try
to “control” my anxiety, which really meant trying to control every other
aspect of my life - my relationships, work, eating and exercising, other people
– you name it, I tried controlling it. It
also meant distracting myself, whether it was bingeing on reality TV, obsessing
over other people’s problems, becoming overwhelmed with all my work-related
tasks - essentially anything that encouraged my not paying attention to myself. Spoiler alert – it never worked, and it
certainly never helped to ease my anxiety.
In fact, it made it a whole lot worse.
While avoiding our anxiety initially results in short term gain, it definitely
results in long term pain.
However, with some great guidance, I was actually able to
find a silver lining within my anxiety.
Please – don’t puke – I swear I am a pessimist, so hear me out. The silver lining of my anxiety is that it is
my body’s intrinsic alarm. It’s a signal
between my brain and body that something is very off. Can it be loud, annoying and disruptive? Hell, yes.
But chances are, if it weren’t so disruptive and annoying, I wouldn’t
take it seriously. It’s meant to get my
attention, but I don’t believe it’s meant to harm me. It’s my body’s way of telling me there’s
something I’m neglecting, have been avoiding - that there is something in dire
need of attention.
Therefore, what I’ve learned and am continuing to learn is
that instead of running away from anxiety, the key is to slow down, turn
inwards – and gently explore what is going on.
In other words, just become aware.
Breathing can really help with the slowing down part, and with some time
and practice, you may find you aren’t so inclined to run. While it may sound cliché, it’s hard to know
where we’re in need of healing until we know where we’re bleeding. Running away from our anxiety is the same as
running away from ourselves, and I don’t believe we’re meant to be run away
from. Rather, we’re meant to be
explored, loved and deeply cared for.
Now, I don’t want to minimize how very challenging
confronting our anxiety can be, but do want to emphasize that we are all
capable of confronting it. Start by
getting connected with good supports, such as friends, physicians or
counsellors. Then, once you feel ready,
start walking towards those alarms, and explore with kindness – what all the
commotion is about. I promise - you are
worthy of the time and attention. And in
time, this will lead to greater self-awareness, self-acceptance and ultimately,
self-care.
I’m passionate about my work and am privileged to support
those living with anxiety.
