Chiroscope

Just ribbing

2011-11-30T18:52:00.000-05:00

I like anatomy. It always seemed fascinating to me that we are made of these bits - muscles and nerves and guts and bones and blood and gloop and fingernails and such... and that one could learn all of them! Unlike other scientific fields, anatomy is relatively finite. How does a physicist ever feel she's done? You can read and write and postulate and read some more and maybe one day you think i get it! only to have someone discover a new qubit of information and suddenly you are re-contemplating the universe and reconsidering gravity and you want to throw yourself into a black hole if you could just figure out what the hell one was anyway.

No thanks, I'll stick with phalanges: 10. I like finite.

The point is, I like anatomy. And no offense, but I can tell that many of you haven't really considered all your parts, and I don't understand this. I mean, you can ignore physics and pretend tau neutrinos don't exist, and life will go on. But you can't ignore your knees, people. They are RIGHT THERE! And while most of you don't know your gluteals from your olecranon, none of you understand ribs.

Unlike the elusive Mc.Rib, your ribs have bones. 12 pairs of ribs create a cage that protects some of the more vital organs - heart and lungs. Though I do consider my hands quite vital, I'll chalk that up to yet another instance of design oversight. The ribs are an example of stability and mobility in perfect harmony; stability protects the inside parts, mobility aids in and allows for breathing and motion through the trunk. Mess with the ribs and compromise these functions. What I see clinically is a rib that has gone 'out', or stops moving properly. If you've ever had a rib 'out', you know how painful this is. Breathing is tender, coughing is agonizing, laughing is absurd.

All of a sudden ribs are important, eh?

Patients find it fascinating to learn that their pain is being caused by a rib. They had never considered their ribs, let alone as a source of pain. But I have. I'm a chiropractor!

I enjoy treating ribs. The results can be so dramatic! A simple adjustment can restore movement and ease pain, often instantly. The patient is happy because they feel better, and I'm happy because my patient is happy. It doesn't hurt the chiro-ego to feel like a hero either. Of course it's not always "alleluia thy be healed!" - sometimes a few treatments are necessary, and occasionally I am challenged by a very stubborn rib. And like the Mc.Rib, some wayward ribs return again and again...

So let's talk about how to deal with ribs.

Breathing exercises can be very helpful, as can gently rolling against a wall or on the floor. The point is to mobilize the 'stuck' rib. Ice is often helpful too. Massage can help sometimes, but I find the rib rub to be a temporary fix, especially if that rib is still 'out' of alignment. See your chiropractor. A rib adjustment is most often the easiest, fastest and most effective treatment for acute rib pain.

And if you've been directed to this blog by searching Mc.Rib, my advice for you is an antacid and a salad.

Happy Chiroversary!

2011-10-14T12:13:00.001-04:00

I'm not one for dates. Sure, I'll say yes if the right person asks, but I'm talking more about the calendar variety - I just don't remember dates very well. So I'll forgive myself for forgetting a recent milestone - my 10 year chiroversary.

I've been practicing chiropractic for 10 years! You'd think by now I'd have had enough practice and could do the real thing but there you have it. Still practicing... after a decade! And it's weird, because the math doesn't really add up - how can I be at once a youthful twenty-something, and also a seasoned decenial doctor of chiropractic? One of life's mysteries, really. But there you have it.

I want my spine mug

And what do I have to show for my 10 years of service? Files, lots of files, and memories, and experience. I've gained so much from my patients over the past decade. I've learned a lot about back pain and joints, about healing, and about not-healing. I've treated lots of regular cases, and a few fascinating ones. I've seen so many people get healthier through chiropractic, and I've witnessed time and time again the remarkable ability of the human body to heal. And I've been honoured to be a part of it all.
What I DON'T have to show for my service, is a spine mug. For shame, chiro-authorities... what better way to commemorate 10 years of dedicated spinal service? What have my annual dues been funding? Research!?

A professor once told us that when we graduate as chiropractors, we will be competent, at best. He went on to describe how technically proficient we can expect to be after x and x+1 years, but I was too insulted to keep listening. Competent? COMPETENT? I mean, I know rule number one is to 'first do no harm', but talk about setting the bar low. But after 10 years, I sort of get it. I remember those first few adjustments - sure they got the job done, but with no finesse, little style. Experience has given me a great set of hands with which to pat myself on my back and crack yours, and pardon me for bragging, but after 10 years I'm not only competent, but dare I say it... I'm an excellent chiropractor.

And I couldn't have done it without you, my patients past present and future, and your trust and your vertebrae. I'll be sure to mention you in my speech when I accept my 20 years of service spine watch.

Time for an adjustment!

Won't somebody please think of the children?

2011-09-13T18:03:00.000-04:00

Pregnant women need massages.

Despite what the above photo depicts, we don't need belly massages; we need everything-else- massages.

Pregnant women need massages!

Not a back tickle, not a shoulder rub, but a full body massage. The fuller the body becomes, the fuller it needs to be massaged - true! And partners... please, defer to professionals. You've done enough, and your lady deserves a bona fide massage. Stick with foot rubs and emotional support, m'kay?

Prenatal massage is a necessity. Physically, the pregnant woman's body is changing so rapidly; things growing, loosening, stretching. The normal spinal curves are exaggerated as the center of gravity shifts forward. Pain is so common that it is taken as 'normal'. But there is nothing normal about pain, and no pain so severe that we can't, at the very least, lessen it. Particularly at a time when pain-killers aren't an option, body work becomes that much more important. There is simply no need to suffer.

Expecting women are often nervous about any intervention - but rest assured that prenatal massage is safe. Registered massage therapists are trained to meet the special needs of pregnant women, and there are a variety of ways to position you for maximum comfort and safety. The therapist may change the pressure and stroke over your low back or other sensitive areas, and will avoid applying heat near the baby.

Physical benefits aside, massage is a wonderful relaxation tool. And it's a hell of a lot easier to get a massage while the baby is tucked away quiet inside (and not screaming on the outside... ) - enjoy this time! Besides, happy mom = happy baby...its no longer just about you!

Yup - book a prenatal massage... you owe it to your baby!

It takes a village to treat a chiropractor: Dr Bain edition.

2011-08-09T11:20:00.000-04:00

Loyalty is not in my blood. My mother had a different chiropractor for every ache - she would go to Dr. Larry for her neck but only Dr. Michael could 'really get her low back'. Myself, I get my haircut every 6 months by a different stylist, and I don't qualify for loyalty points at any major retailer. On the chiropractic front I've got a full roster of docs to keep me in line.

Dr. Bain at work!

One of those is Dr. Zachary Bain. He's funny and smart and kind - all wonderful characteristics in a chiropractor or a friend. We over lap at the clinic on Mondays and Friday mornings, so should something slip or seize then, I know I'm in good hands. Our practice styles are very similar, making Dr. Bain the chiro-equivalent of a best friend; we speak the same language. We 'get' each other. And like any best friend, he compliments me too - we are dissimilar in just the right ways. When we treat each other we are also bouncing ideas off on another, comparing ways of adjusting, discussing new ways to treat injuries. His touch is gentle, his adjustments just subtle enough, and he spends time stretching and releasing tight muscles and sore spots. He is patient and methodical, and this is one of the things I like best about Dr. Bain's treatments - he really takes his time. And I always feel better after seeing him!

At RHCC we don't expect your loyalty! We encourage you to play the field, give all of us a whirl, experiment a bit. Patients often switch back and forth between Dr. Bain and myself, sometimes preferring his thorough and gentle touch - and this is fine with me! I like him, why wouldn't you?!

As for myself, please allow me to take this small space (it is my blog, after all...) to publicly thank Dr. Bain for all his work (specifically his work on my spine!) - thanks Zach... I consider myself fortunate to get to work alongside you, to share an office with you, and to be cared for by you!

How Does Your Garden Grow?

2011-06-06T15:31:00.000-04:00

I love spring! I love the flowers, the weather, the patios. I love long days, barbeques, and the promise of many more months of good weather ahead.

And this summer, I'd like to apologize to gardeners everywhere. I used to scoff at the image of the little old lady labouring away in her garden; you snip a few stems, plant a bulb or two, and pour water on the whole thing. Weeding sounded annoying and pruning confusing, but really, what was so hard? Man up, ladies.

But as a lady of certain age who enjoys her greenery, I'm realizing that I was wrong, wrong, wrong. Gardening is challenging, it is an art, and it is physically hard! And as your dedicated chiro-gardener, I will pass on what I've learned so that you need not suffer. Learn from my mistakes, and do as I say, not as I've planted.

Dr. Michelle's Gardening Tips

1. Get down and dirty

Gardening is not for the squeamish. There are bugs and worms and mud. Its a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. Staying clean by bending over is hard on your back. Sit down. Get close to your work to minimize bending and reaching. Get dirty. Live a little!

2. Say no to weeds

My garden is lush and green, and there are even a few plants in there. The weeds... the damn weeds... they flourish. Weed removal is labourious, monotonous, and neverendingous. But aha, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure or something, so order up an ounce of mulch and use liberally. Stop those weeds from growing in the first place! I've also noticed that weeding is so much easier after a rainfall - those suckers just slide right out.

3. Delegate

The best way to do something hard is to get someone else to do it. Kidding! Sort of! Invite your friends over for a garden(ing) party, and give out weed whackers as party favours! Got a partner or a kid or any other able-bodied person around? Make them... I mean ask them to help! And when bribing and begging don't work, money usually does. Seriously, be realistic about your abilities. There are plenty of gardening services around, and the cost of hired help or favours owed may be worth saving your back.

4. Dress for success

Remember my mantra, people: cute and functional. Wide brimmed floppy hat to protect from sun. Waterproof and light weight shoes - crocs really are great. Comfortable clothes that can get dirty and allow you to stretch. Gloves to protect your hands from cuts and bugs. Knee pads can help immensely.

5. Stretch, ice, see your chiropractor!

We can help your body - from sore green thumbs to achy backs. Or better yet, get your spring spinal tune-up so you will able to garden to you heart's delight!

Get on your butt... and the Team Member of the Month!

2011-03-10T10:46:00.000-05:00

I hate formal exercise. And it's not just sweaty men in tuxedos that bother me, I also dislike informal exercise. But, I also dislike ill-fitting clothing, and you know, dying early... so I decided it was time to move a little more. It is getting harder to attribute those extra pounds to 'baby weight' since the baby turned two.

So I found a place I could go - the YMCA. Sure enough, I found many ways to have a good time. Aside from inexpensive daycare... fine, they had me at inexpensive daycare. But also, I discovered gravity.

Gravity classes are amazing. We lie down on a moving plank, and push or pull things and the result is a workout that works your muscles and your heart, and involves just enough sweat to be dewy but not icky. Exercise, lying down. And inexpensive day care. Sold!

I also discovered pilates. Or rediscovered, and like some long lost love, I wonder why we ever parted? Tone and stretch, most of while lying down. How could I have forgotten? And pilates is (pilates are?) so effective - strengthing the core to stabilize the body. Long and lean, strong and steady.

Mia Quint-Rapoport leads the pilates-esque workout here, in our cozy downstairs studio. Her class is pilates-inspired, but with more push-ups and lunges, a little yoga, and a lot more giggling added in. But don't let the tittering fool you, for this Dr. (yah, she's also a Ph.D.) is intense, and there is no whining under her tutelage. We tone and laugh. And sweat, just enough.

But we lie down most of the time, which appeals to me. And that's why I'm pleased to name Mia Quint-Rapoport the March 'Team Member of the Month'.

Thanks for doing what you do, Mia!

And remember everyone: you don't have to get up to get fit!

miss me?

2011-02-09T22:09:00.001-05:00

The secret to being a successful chiroblogger is to post, post, post! But I have neglected to do so; last year I abandoned entire months, giving the impression that I had nothing to say when I've got LOTS to say. I'm constantly composing posts in my head, but all too often, my thought-blogs vanish before they begin, and I'm left blogless, giving you the impression that I don't care. So I realized I best be posting promptly or surely my loyal reader will abscond, and then what? What is the writer without her reader?

And suddenly it is 2011. And while the technology I need has not yet been invented (some sort of brain-computer wire to download my thoughts to my computer), I am starting this year off write! For example, I have already written next year's New Year post, thanks to last year's procrastination. And how better to actually start this year off than by posting in February? So here I write, I chirotype and chirobabble... and as an apology for my inexcusable absence, please accept:

Dr Fagen's winter-spinal-survival guide

1) GO SOUTH! And go far, too. Because apparently it snows everywhere now! Is this creeping anyone else out? I get the sense we are entering some sort of ice age and I can't tell but maybe this has something to do with global warming? It's freaky and freaking cold. So go. And take me with you. Normally I'd suggest you take an ice pack for the long, long drive, to address any joint inflammation or injuries that can happen on such a long journey, but sticking your hand out the window and collecting a ball of snow will work too. Apply to newly sore joints for 10 minutes at a time, say 3 times daily. Once you've reached your sunny destination, just use the ice from your mojito.

2) Snow shovelling is for the spineless. Really, there is no delicate way to say this. The best way to shovel snow is to GET SOMEONE ELSE TO DO IT. Now this, readers, is news you can use. Sure, you can lift with your knees and keep your back straight and push rather than lift the snow, but you know what? SNOW IS HEAVY and HEAVY CAN HURT YOUR BACK. Especially when it doesn't. stop. snowing. So ignore my advice if you will, go ahead and follow other chiropractor's suggestions, but explain me this: how are you supposed to both "shovel regularly during a snowfall before it accumulates" and also "take frequent breaks", and of course, "stretch before and after"... don't you people have THINGS to do? And don't even get me started on electric snow blowers, see global warming above.

3) Rush slowly. News flash: ice is slippery, and gravity is relentless. The lessons here are obvious: a) keep your walkway clear b) wear appropriate footwear with lots of traction c) walk slowly and with caution! oh and d) slips happen. Lets all be grateful for the little slips and falls, for they remind us that we are vulnerable and that this time, we avoided a big one. And also, see your chiropractor! A well adjusted spine can better handle the stress of a fall, and if it has been a while since your last adjustment, well, we are great at fixing things too.

4) Footwear deserves a whole post, nay, a whole blog of its own... but for the sake of WINTER SURVIVAL let me get the basics down. Your footwear should be, in no particular order: warm, waterproof, traction-y, attractive, lightweight. This is not possible, no footwear has ever in the history of the universe been all these things - practical and cute are the dichotomies of the boot-world, mutually exclusive and ever-elusive. The answer to this, of course, is to purchase many many pairs of boots, each fulfilling a particular function.

5) Stay active! To best enjoy the winter season, be sure to get out and enjoy the few daylight hours that we are afforded. They say that winter activities like skiing, snowshoeing and luging are wonderful for the body and mind, but 'they' also said that leggings couldn't be worn as pants, so I'm hedging my bets and staying indoors. I did join a gym, mind you, so remember that you can be active and warm. Don't be a luger. Get off your butt!

6) Hang out with a kid. If this doesn't warm your frozen heart, nothing will.

You like me! You really like me!

2010-12-09T22:17:00.001-05:00

Chiropractors often get a bum rap (which is, incidentally, different than a bum wrap, which I perform a few gross times a day on my toddler). But I digress, and the first sentence is far too soon for digression.

We're not universally well-liked, us chiropractors. Sure, many of you love us. Some of you know people who love us. More than a few of you have told me that your friend swears by us. And being sworn by is a hell of a lot nicer than being sworn at, which unfortunately is what a choice few of you do... perhaps under your breath, or on your blog, or directly to my face after three too many drinks.

I make it a point to take very little personally. Don't like my shirt? Big whup. Don't like me? Meh, plenty of other people do. Don't like chiropractic? So don't come running to me when your foot hurts (free tip: don't run if your foot hurts!). Seriously - I understand that Chiropractic may not be everyone's first choice for therapy. If it works for you, great. If it doesn't, something or someone else will. I'll even help you find it! Acupuncture! Swimming! Meditation! Massage! Physiotherapy! Ayurvedic medicine! The world is your clinic!

Background: Growing up, I played the 'peace keeper' role in my family. (My parents ultimately divorced. I never said I was good at my role, just that I played it). As such, I have an innate desire to make us all get along... and when I'm faced with an unliker... I just want to know... WHY!??!

Perhaps you had a less than stellar past experience with a chiropractor. Maybe she didn't explain what she was going to do before she did it (Hi, I'm Dr. Sheila - 'CRACK'), or maybe your chiropractor rubbed you the wrong way (get it?). Perhaps you just didn't enjoy the experience. But before you break it off with chiropractic, I urge you to remember that chiropractic is personal ("it's not you... it's me, doc"). Each doctor's hands are different, not to mention their approach, demeanor, practice style and philosophies. We are an eclectic bunch, and the chiropractor of your dreams could be just around the next corner!

Maybe you had a few treatments and didn't see the results you hoped for. It is of course possible that your injury didn't respond to chiropractic treatment, but check your expectations too; believe me, nothing is more rewarding when a patient rebounds off the table all 'hallelulah' and 'i'm cured!', but long standing problems can take a while to unravel! Be a patient patient, and make sure you are holding up your end of the treatment 'deal' (are you really doing your stretches every night?).

Sometimes people tell me they are scared of chiropractors. This always seems odd to me, because the chiropractors I know are among the most gentle, caring people I've ever met. And yet, there is this fear... To the chirophobes, I say this: communicate. Tell me what makes you nervous. The cracking sound? Just gases escaping from the joint. Worried that it will hurt? People usually report relief, and your doctor will work within your comfort level and tolerance. Uneasy about neck adjustments?? Remember, cyber-friends, it is your body. I'm not going to do anything to you that you don't agree to - it is called 'consent', and it is taken very seriously. If you are hesitant but open-minded, talk to me, I've got a lot of tricks up my sleeve, and one of them is bound to do you some good. Give it a chance, all you have to lose is your pain! Besides, feeling better has a funny way of putting you at ease.

But what to say to the people who have closed their minds to chiropractors? Those who've declared that no adjustment shall cross their spines, who choose to remain unadjusted over becoming well-adjusted? I say... your body, your decision. I'm no chiro-evangalist, and I'm not interested in trying to convert a non-believer. If you should have a change of heart (as often happens when you can't turn your neck) I will welcome you with open arms. People are usually very good judges of what they need and when they need it. If and when the time is right for us to meet, you'll know it.

Unsure where you stand on this issue? Take advice from this pillow I found - when has a pillow ever led you astray?

This Post Won't Heal Your Back

2010-11-17T21:38:00.000-05:00

This post is about music, and it will heal your soul, as the Backstreet Boys do teach. And as a healer who is open to all therapies, who am I to argue?

Therefore, consider this NOT a shameless plug, but sound (get it?) health advice that you all should heed. Come see my husband, Robbie Roth, and my good friend, Gavin Creel, perform on Sunday November 28th, at 7:30 pm, at the Factory Theatre in Toronto.

Velvet vocals, acoustic guitar, good times and good health for all.

Get your tickets here.

Because I care!

Why Not?

2010-09-30T11:33:00.000-04:00

I'm often asked why I became a chiropractor, and I'm working on the perfect blog to answer this - a post so witty and insightful, and I can just picture you trembling at your computer in antici-pation.

But maybe a better question is why do I continue to do it? Why do I get up most mornings and decide to still be a chiropractor? I suppose the first answer that comes to mind is that I like to help people - it feels good to be helpful, to be needed. But there are lots of way to be beneficent. I mean, I could feel good rescuing bunnies, or volunteering to wash old people's hair. I thought about this, and came up with a few reasons why I do what I do.

- I like using my hands, and building i.kea furniture wasn't paying the bills.

- I'm addicted to the crack. I love that noise.

- I can't imagine doing anything else, and I certainly can't imagine doing nothing else. I'm not a good at lunching with ladies 'cause I always spill something on my shirt, and I can't imagine going back to school. Except maybe circus school - I was once a promising trapeze artist, and I also knew how to climb and swing from a rope in a surprisingly graceful fashion.

- I'm a bit of a nerd, and the science courses really appealed to me. Seriously, I've been known to get more than a little excited describing shoulder joint mechanics.

- I'm a tiny bit lazy, and a tiny bit bossy. I'm a better delegator than executrix, so I enjoy telling other people (person... thanks for everything Hayley) what to do, and witnessing things actually getting done!

- I'm a people person with an attention disorder. Fine, I don't really have an attention prob- what was I blogging about? I kid. It's just that I like seeing a bunch of different people throughout the day and having lots of different bodies to work on, each one a puzzle in and of itself.

- Etc and misc. Sometimes it is hard to put into words why you do the things you do, you know? You just... do. You have your reasons and that's good enough.

- Chiropractic works! It really, really does.

Friends with Benefits

2010-08-23T14:50:00.000-04:00

There are perks to working here, in addition to being located between a chocolate shop and a nail salon. Great patients, warm atmosphere, the wonder of witnessing human bodies heal. But best of all? Being surrounded by excellent therapists, and getting treated by them.

Why, just recently, I found myself with an afternoon of cancellations. "Perfect!" said the successful businesswoman that I am, "now I can get an acupuncture treatment!" And so I lay down in the cozy downstairs treatment room, and let Lisa Quaning lovingly stab me with needles as chimey music played in the background. I lay in the dark, silently retreating into my mind and back out again, resting. When Lisa returned about an hour/a lifetime later, and proceeded to... I don't know, massage and move and do nice things, well put a fork in me, I was done. Done. I find her acupuncture treatments to be draining and rejuvenating at the same time - does that make sense? Redrainevating, perhaps. Balancing, for sure.

And so, I am happy to announce that this month's RHCC therapist of the month is.... Lisa Quaning!

Lisa is Zen. She embodies warmth and calmth, and you feel better for being in her presence. She studies Buddhism and practices Qi Gong, but isn't too enlightened to pore over a celebrity gossip magazine. She eats very healthy most of the time, but wonderfully unhealthy now and then.

Lisa heals. Her acupuncture treatments are gentle and pain-free. Her advice is do-able. Her approach is non-judgmental and open-minded. She's got a great sense of humour, a funky fashion sense, and always rocks an awesome hair-do. Those last few things may not seem to have much to do with healing... but who are we to say what heals and what does not? For a while Lisa had green hair, and my back felt great. Coincidence? I think not.

I'm hard pressed to name anyone who practices what she preaches more thoroughly and honestly than Lisa Quaning. Awakening before dawn, consulting with her mentors and emailing with her monk (i know, that seems funny, huh?), exercising and meditating... Lisa will never suggest you do something she herself doesn't do or hasn't done. She herself walks the same path of self-improvement, and she never forgets this. No arrogance; Lisa heals with you.

When I think of acupuncture, I think of balance. I often recommend acupuncture for problems that affect body systems, especially where perhaps western medicine cannot pinpoint or easily fix the problem. You know, where nothing's wrong... but something's wrong!. Things like irritable bowel syndrome, infertility, headaches. Something is out of balance. And acupuncture is often just what the... uh, acupuncturist ordered - non-invasive, no side effects, safe, effective.

When I think of Lisa, I also think of balance. She brings balance to my body and balance to my clinic. I am honoured to work with her, pleased to refer my patients to her, and so very glad I know her.

Absquatulate

2010-08-19T15:58:00.001-04:00

When you gotta go, you gotta go!

I'm going. And because I care (I do!) and I don't want you to have any chiropractic regrets, consider this fair warning: if you need me, act now! It is far easier to treat you when I'm in the clinic, and not, say, elsewhere.

I'm taking a wee vacay, and I'll be out of the office from August 28 until September 10.
If you need me, you'll have to go for a long swim. Of course, Dr. Bain will be here Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to handle any spinal emergencies.

In the event that you find yourself hurting in my absence - remember: when in doubt, ICE. Really, if you pull something, tweak your whatchamacallit or feel a twinge in your thingamabob, the first thing to do is apply ice for about 20 minutes. Find a comfortable place to lie, bend your knees and relax, and apply ice. This generic virtual message cannot of course substitute for a live, face to face treatment, but these measures should help minimize any acute injury.

Be well! Enjoy the rest of summer!

chiropoetry

2010-07-15T22:53:00.000-04:00

It is said that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. A tad cheesy, but lovely and evocative, methinks.

This triad parallels the three types of chiropractic care; symptom, supportive and maintenance. In symptom care the patient is usually acute, and the immediate goal or reason for coming in is pain relief. Supportive care lasts a season, and the intent is to thoroughly fix the cause of the problem. Maintenance care is ongoing, though to touch on one of the more persistent chiropractic myths, a lifetime commitment is not required. Chiro- and commitment-phobes, you can relax!

Some chiropractors don't like being called on only for symptom care, they get frustrated when thought of as (back) pain doctors. They can offer you more than that, they hawk things like 'wellness' and 'prevention' and 'vitality', and to be sure, these are valuable things and I peddle them too, but lots of things have value. To me pain removal seems pretty damn valuable, particularly to one in such a state. I don't mind being a pain remover, it may be the one noble thing I can do.

We all experience pain, and yet... what does yours feel like? I ask you about it; is it sharp or dull? Constant or intermittent? Achy? Sparkly? Maybe it's green? And I'll process this information, use it to formulate a diagnosis. But I'll never really know your pain, will I? What does it feel like?

It hurts. Pain hurts.

I've had pain too, of course. I've had searing pain and cramping pain and head pain and shooting pain, and labour pain and mystery pains. Some of these were mild and eased quickly. Others were more stubborn or more scary, and some made me wonder if I'd ever be be the same again. I try to remember all these pains, because I think each one carried an important message; of mortality, suffering, redemption, hope, time, of healing. I try to remember my pains, because I want to understand your pain. You are more than just a misaligned spine, you feel, you hurt.

Symptom care works really well for some people, so why deny them that? They call me when they feel a twinge or a tweak or a kink or a spasm, and I remove it. If things are simple and not permitted to linger and get complicated (as things are wont to do), then I can often resolve the situation in a few treatments. Easy peasy, pain removed, and I'll see you next time, if ever or whenever that may be. Of course many people need more fine tuning than that. But some of you, the smart healthy lucky genetically superior physically active ones, you respond well to reason care, you'll be OK.

Reason, season or lifetime. It is more charming than symptom, support and maintenance, that's for sure. And some come for many reasons over a lifetime and some seem to come season after season for different reasons, but ultimately, I'm just here to help and crack and realign. I try to leave you in better condition than I got you, wishing you well(ness) and good health, until we meet again next reason, season or lifetime.

Bad Medicinery

2010-06-28T23:53:00.001-04:00

It used to be a simple question, an ice breaker: "what do you do?". Correct answers included doctor, spy, fireman. Or maybe you're the guy who puts the ends on shoelaces, or replaces the lightbulbs in street lamps. I know from personal experience that lightbulbs don't just change themselves, so it follows that someone's gotta do it! Nowadays, when I ask that simple question, I'm left flummoxed. You're a systems analyst? You conduct market share valuations in the bonds and the whatnow? You say you're a plumber? I don't get it.

Ask me what I do - go ahead, ask.

Why I'm a chiropractor! I treat musculoskeletal problems, most often by adjusting the spinal vertebra, though any old joint will do. See? Simple.

It's when other people try to explain what I do, that things get a little murky. For starters, ya'll want to call me a back doctor. Which I guess is ok, I've certainly been called worse, but why limit me? I treat backs, necks, hips, a whole lotta shoulders... I've been known to help headaches and feet and wrists too! I might argue that I treat 'people', not just backs and aches and such, but I worry about seeming sentimental.

There is also the issue of consistency among chiropractors, namely our lack of. We are a wacky bunch... all doing different things with different instruments and different terminologies, and each calling it 'chiropractic'. This subject deserves a post of its own, but suffice to say that our lack of clarity with respect to our scope is confusing at best, and undermines our expertise at worst.

But you... the regular people, the non-chiros as you are sometimes called, you ruin our good name. How can you be expected to understand the intricacies of what we do, when you can't even figure out what to call us? I meet you at parties, and you ask me how long I've practiced chiropractory. In line at the grocery store, you tell me that you've had this back pain for a few months, and you've been thinking about chiropractory. At my weekly kickboxing class at the gym you tell me how chiropactory changed your life. Fine, I'm exaggerating on the last one - I haven't been to the gym in 2 years. But still.

People, it's not a word. Chiropractory. Not a word! Irregardless of how sure you are, fact remains: not a word. It's a ginormous problem, this invented word. Wanna know another? Preventative. Patients often express an interest in preventative maintenance. And it's a real problem for me! Because here is someone who values their health, who has come to recognize that it is easier to keep you well than to get you well. They are embracing wellness and everywhere chiropractic hearts are warming... but me? I'm stuck on preventative. PrevenTAtive? It just sounds wrongly. Do I then practice alternitative medicine? And yet, 'preventive maintenance' doesn't have the same zing. And don't we all want a little zing from our chiropractor?

Also, it's single. Chiropractic. No 'S'. ChiropracticS sounds to me like fireworks, I'm not sure why. And lest you doubt my expertise on such chiropractish vernacular, let me assure you that I've been chiropracting for almost ten years now. I'm a chiropractician!

Feeling foolish for calling your chiropractor something unintentional? Not to worry, no harm done, he's probably just honoured to have been called in the first place. There are bigger problems in the world than this, right? Like how to pronounce chiropody.

Mod Squad

2010-05-07T12:17:00.000-04:00

Everything in moderation!

I really hate this expression. It is completely arbitrary, instant justification for doing things, usually bad things. Rarely does someone justify their extreme carrot consumption this way. I've been known to nag my diet soda-drinking family members from time to time (fine, all the time. I'm a hoot at family gatherings). "Diet soda is evil! Bad for your health!". Their response to my loving concern? "Everything in moderation, Michelle" and "mind your own business, Dr. Bossy".

Look, I get it. Sometimes we choose the low road, the bacon cheeseburger path more traveled by, if you will. And so long as one balances ones vices with virtues, one just might make it after all. There can be joy in indulgence and misbehaving and sure, the occasional (gasp!) chemically sweetened caffeinated brown fizzy water. I'm all for making poor choices now and then, so long as they are acknowledged; don't pretend they become good choices just because you plead 'moderation'.

What exactly is moderate? One (insert vice) a day? A week? A lifetime? Horace Porter advised us to "be moderate in everything, including moderation", which really clarifies things, though he also teaches that "a mugwump is a person educated beyond his intellect", and I don't know what to do with that either. Perhaps I'm the mugwump.

So what's a modern moderate to do? Well, for starters I think we can learn, edumacate ourselves, distill facts from fiction. For example, bread, it turns out, is very tasty in moderation. But with so much hidden wheat in our diets (it is in EVERYTHING) true moderation is rare without making a concerted effort; avoiding tasty, tasty bagels isn't enough. And wheat is highly allergenic - a major gastrointestinal irritant - no wonder wheat products are the first to be eliminated in most cleanses. Sweeteners? The epitome of artificial. I can't see what these have to offer anyone, and therefore I can't see any benefit or level that is moderate. I may suck back a diet coke a few times a year (what else goes with a big m.ac?), but with the full understanding that this is negative good for me, not moderately good for me in any way. Another example of moderation gone awry is soy. If health food had a mascot, it would be soyman, the tofu wonder. But soy products confuse me - they start out as a whole food, soy beans, then are processed beyond recognition into sludge and by-products and tofurkey. If you think soy is just for hippies and nary a tofu morsel hath passed your carniverous lips, think again meathead - much like wheat, soy is everywhere. Most processed food contain soy oils and proteins, most animals both domestic and dinner plate-bound are fed soy, and it is even found in such foods as edamame and miso soup. Consumption has gone beyond choosing soy 'milk' over dairy products and moderate consumption doesn't really exist. Curiously, soy is also implicated in many food allergies. One has to wonder if it is the ubiquity of these products that leads to such widespread intolerance?

Even the 'experts' don't seem compelled to define moderation, and my research leads me to believe that moderation is quite boring. Moderate drinking doesn't get you drunk. Moderate exercise allows you to still hold a boring conversation. A consult with the esteemed Dr. Google advises me to moderately drink 1 - 2 glasses of red wine a day to prevent Alzheimers, moderate my caffeine consumption by sipping no more than 3 cuppsa joe (or... 6 colas!), and I'm told that moderate egg consumption can be good for my health - the only guide being that I shouldn't eat '12 of them'. Moderate politics may be the answer, but that won't pay for a mansion in Wasilla. Go big or go home, people.

And finally... everything in moderation? EVERYTHING? EggsChocolateExerciseSexSaladWorkAntibioticsLoveMethamphetamines? Do what you want, just don't do it too too much? Look around. Collectively, we are a fat, unhealthy, addicted, angry people. I think we've proved ourselves incapable of effectively judging moderation. But here's the thing... it is YOUR body. You have every right to swill down diet sodas and bacon, you can drink as much coffee or booze as you want, smoke whatever you've got as often as you'd like. Indulge in your vices, tell your tea sipping friends to go to hell and tell me to mind my own business. I may not endorse your decisions, but I respect your right to make them.

Afterall, it's your life, and we all know moderation is the key to life.

human v1.2

2010-03-03T21:45:00.001-05:00

I'm fascinated by the human body. We are remarkable machines (most of us), at once so complex and so simple. Carbon-based bags of bones, made mostly of water, held together by tissues and guts. Simple! Able to simultaneously break down food into energy and poop, turn oxygen into carbon dioxide, jump and run and swim. We remember and learn and emote and evolve, and all the while, without even thinking about it, our hearts keep a-pumping, our livers keep living, and our brains do whatever they want. That said, there are a few design flaws I've found in human being version 1.0, and I propose the following modifications and updates when the next updates are released.

Appendix. It has been suggested that there is some immunity function from this vestigial colonic appendage. But it often becomes crudely clogged and then infected, necessitating its removal. I propose either redesigning the wee thing so that it doesn't block so easily (perhaps a flush valve?), placing it elsewhere in the body (a more sanitary locale?) or losing the worm shaped poop pouch all together.

Sinuses and eustachian tubes - the openings are too small, the tubes run almost horizontal, fluid can't drain and we are left with a warm, moist cavity = petri dish. Introduce bacteria (tube, meet streptococcus!), and you've got yourself an infection. And then my baby is up all night, screaming and crying. And then my ears hurt. Fix this.

The spine. I'm fond of this structure, it certainly keeps me occupied, but the current design is better suited for walking on all fours than for upright posture. Since the majority of my patients are evolved enough to walk erect, perhaps this is why the majority of my patients also have back pain?

Adult female pelvis. Babies' heads. Might I recommend better size matching?

Spinal discs. I have a personal grudge with the designer of discs. Particularly with whoever who selected the jelly-like substance in the middle. While well suited for shock absorption, add force on to this anatomical jelly donut and witness the innards squeeze out. Onto your sciatic nerve. Four days before your wedding. Love hurts, indeed.

I could go on. Like how about fixing things like inherently weak arches (70% of us have 'flat feet') and unaccommodating eye lenses so I don't have to accessorize with such sexy accoutrements as orthotics and eyeglasses? Then again, some gentlemen dig nerdy ladies. I don't judge.

I just think that after billions of years, we are due for some updates to the human hardware. Or software... or should that be firmware? Cut me some slack, I'm still using my Commodore 64. Let's get on these Sapien improvements. Isn't there an app for that?

Chiropractor's Almanac

2010-01-19T11:00:00.000-05:00

There is something in the air, and it is not just love...

I don't know why, but it has been BUSY in the clinic lately. Have all my patients conspired to get sore at the same time? Did you all get together to practice different ways of bending wrongly (is it just me, or does that word sound wrong?)? Was there a limbo party to which I wasn't invited? Has Twister made a comeback?

I'm happy to see you all... but what the hell is going on?!

I've noticed this before. The sudden influx of patients from time to time, all with similar complaints. I've been working on theories.

Theory 1 - a reason for every season
This theory is popular with patients. After every snowfall, I'm asked if I'm very busy these days, what with all the snow shoveling and slipping on ice. And yes, I do see more than a few injured shovellers, but do you know what happens when it is really, really, really cold and snowy out? People hibernate. Perhaps this is why I seem to treat more acute low backs in winter - if you're braving February cold to come in, you're gonna make sure you really need it.

Theory 2 - word of mouth
Say you came in with neck pain. And say I 'cured' said neck pain. You then tell your friends about the fabulous Dr. Fagen who fixed your neck pain, and they'll tell two friends, and they'll tell two friends, and so on, and so on... next thing you know, I'm up to my neck with neck patients.

Theory 3 - ancient chinese secret
When I studied acupuncture, I had the privilege of learning a bit of Chinese medicine theory. It is wonderfully complex and highly structured, and accounts for so many factors, including weather and seasons and energy and the universe. Each season correlates to a different meridian, which governs different organ systems and areas of the body. In the spring I often see shoulder and elbow problems. In the winter, stiffness and low back pain. These findings are explained well by Chinese medicine's 5 elements theory. Hey, a billion people can't be wrong...

Theory 4 - misremembering
Perhaps it is just me. Maybe I'm so eager to prove myself right, that when another acute neck patient shows up during an August heat wave I say A-HA!, but I don't think much of the same presentation any other time? It is possible, I have been wrong before. Once.

Theory 5 - conspiracy...
Who sent you in? Shoulder pain you say... what a coincidence. Why are you really here!!??

Theory 6 - Murphy's Law
The deluge of patients right before the Christmas holidays? The panicked calls in August, during peak vacation time? March break madness? If you've got somewhere important to be... stop in for an adjustment first!

The truth probably lies in the middle of this blog... (well except for the conspiracy theory part (unless you've got something to hide... in which case I'm on to you...)). We are more intimately connected to the earth and it's energies, weather and seasons included, than we realize. And our disconnections, like air conditioning and heating, affect us too, becoming part of our seasonal factors (not unusual for late summer stiff necks to be associated with sleeping under the air conditioner). Sports and activities affect us immensely, especially when we return after a hiatus. It's no wonder my hockey players all seem to ache in the preseason and my golfers will inevitably call me when the greens open. Stress certainly plays a part in pain, weakening the body to exacerbate an injury and making healing a longer ordeal.

Understanding your body means understanding your pain patterns. It is not unusual for an irregular patient (as in 'infrequent', not 'weird') to need treatment at the same time each year... spooky, no? We need to each know ourselves, to know what seasons are our hardest to navigate, to be body conscious when starting new sports and activities, to be able to identify the stresses and triggers to which we are vulnerable. And then prevent them from knocking us down - by stretching more/relaxing/seeking treatment/doing whatever gets you on your feet again.

The truth is out there. In the mean time, get your back treated, and help me with this most valuable research.

Happy Holidayses!

2010-01-04T18:03:00.000-05:00

The end of one year, the beginning of another. It's a bit romantic, no? The sense of renewal, out with the old, in with the new. A fresh start, a new year and a new decade. Huzzah!

And yet, it's all a bit silly. The ceremony, the hangovers, the resolutions. Isn't it just another day, a notch in time? Should auld acquaintance really be forgot, and never brought to mind? Besides, I have a major grammar-related new year pet peeve, and it persists well past January 1st. Gung Hay Fat Choy indeed.

"Happy New Years!"

Or perhaps you mean "Happy New Year's!", which is equally irksome.

The extraneous 's'. Never before has anyone been driven to madness by a single letter, apostrophe or not. But there you have it. I'm small like that. And though I try to focus on the intent behind the greeting, the well wishes for an enjoyable year, I'm cringing inside.

WHY IS THIS PLURALIZED?

Perhaps the capricious s's serve to proffer happiness for the current year and all other years to come? Maybe the well-wisher is being culturally sensitive, accounting for such new yearses (!) as the Chinese New Year (happy 4707 everyone!) and Rosh Hashanna (happy 5770 everyone!). The Scots have a solution to this conundrum. Happy Hogmanay, everyone!

I realize that it is of very little import, but this blending of "New Year's Eve" and "Happy New Year" just gets my goat. I've even done it myself, asking "what did you do for New Year's?" Beginning the year with a dangling something-or-other is as inauspicious a start as any. Maybe I should resolve to be less pedantic, more gracious in the face of a pleasant greeting, but there you have it.

Have a wonderful twenty-ten, and in case I don't get the chance to say it in the future, Happy New Years!

Holiday Public Service Announcement

2009-12-15T09:00:00.001-05:00

Call your chiropractor.

The holidays are coming up. You're going places! Down south to Kingston perhaps, or eastbound on the 401 to Kingston... just come see me before you go.

Maybe your only plans are to lounge around in PJs, watch Elf over and over again, and eat left over leftovers. Sounds perfect. Visit me first.

The holidays are hard. Too much time with family (there is a reason you moved out in the first place, is all I'm saying...), too much time driving from one partay to the next, too much shoveling, too much packing, too much snow, too much traffic, too much eating, too much shopping, too much schlepping, too much... just too much. Factor in your chiropractor's holiday office hours... spinal mayhem ensues. This is when I get your panicked phone calls on December 22... you put your back out - and you are leaving for Boca in two days! You can't move your neck - and you're on the way out the door to spend four days with your in-laws!

Book your appointment now. 416.482.1332 in case you forgot.

I will be away from the office from December 23rd, returning January 4th. Check the holiday schedule for details.

Consider yourself forewarned.
Call me!

... and have a wonderful, healthy, pain-free holiday!

Preventing Holiday Back Pain - Tips you can REALLY use...

2009-12-10T10:53:00.013-05:00

Ah, Winter - the time when you are inundated with tips on 'how to prevent back pain over the holidays!'. Sure, you need to remember to bend with your knees and to stretch before and after you shovel, but how boring.

Here's how to really save your back this season.

1. Get good boots. And by good, I mean serious sh*t kickers... er... snow kickers. You want good traction, warm and waterproof boots that will keep you upright and out walking in the most inclement weather. Wearing shoes that aren't weather appropriate makes you do that puddle-jumping dance... you know, when you have to leap over snowbanks and puddles so you don't get wet? Just put on your Sorels and plow through that crap. You're Canadian. Deal with it.

2. Delegate. Shoveling hurts. Finally, I have the solution. Get someone else to do it! For those of you who don't have a minion hanging around to do your bidding, you're best to do the shoveling ASAP. Snow is easiest to move when it is light and fluffy, freshly laid. Wait for it to freeze or accumulate, and you're in trouble. Remember to shovel small amounts at a time, and to lift the load using your knees, not your back. Try not to twist when tossing the snow - better to throw it straight ahead. But if it's gonna hurt, beg or hire someone else to do it.

3. Holiday travel can leave you achy... instead, fly first class! It is so much more comfortable and glamorous! All that leg room, and if you're lucky you'll get a pod - why sit down when you can lay down? If you must fly economy (what, you don't want to pay quadruple the price?), remember to walk around from time to time, and ask the flight attendant for a pillow to put behind your low back. Actually, bring your own, since I've recently learned that some airlines have stopped providing those little pillows for free - and I want to know, what is this world coming to, when I have to pay $3 for a disposable pillow? I bet they get them for free in first class. I'm just saying...

4. Stay home. Embrace your inner scrooge. No standing in long lines at the mall for you! I rarely treat hermits, though whether this is due to their lack of pain or lack of leaving the house, I do not know.

5. Request gifts from your chiropractor's office. Seriously! Do you really need more stuff? No, you don't. You need massages. Most massage therapists offer gift certificates. Ours do. Less stuff, more massages. Baby Jesus would approve.

6. Minimalize. The trouble with putting up things, like trees and lights, is putting them up. All that reaching, it can hurt one's back. Don't get me wrong, I love my neighbour's inflatable illuminated Santa - classy!

But maybe, in the interest of spinal health, we should scale back?

Sure, I could remind you to stretch your hamstrings when sitting for long periods, take breaks during long car rides and if all else fails apply ice to any new injury, but I think the above 6 points are much more useful. But the best way to prevent back pain over your holiday this year?

7.

Take me with you!!

Quit your swining...

2009-11-06T08:22:00.000-05:00

Hi! How are you? Are you going to get the H1N1 shot?

Lately, this is what passes for conversation. Never before have I used the words "shiraz" and "squalene" in the same sentence, but you asked what my weekend plans were...

Ah, vaccines. They kill us/save us, depending on who you ask. They are either the greatest example of medical advancement or proof of government conspiracy - pork barrel politics, if you will. I've heard the Illuminati are involved, but one can't be sure.

I have many conflicting emotions over this issue. I feel at once:

concerned. I don't go looking for viruses just like I don't go looking for trouble. I avoid them like the plague! Sometimes, however, they find me, virus and trouble both. I'm concerned enough to keep hand sanitizer at the clinic front desk. I'm concerned enough that I wash my hands even more than normal, and then sometimes spray alcohol (rubbing, not schnapps) on them for good measure. I'm concerned enough that I've bookmarked this site, which tracks the number of deaths associated with H1N1 in Canada.

skeptical. Did you click the link above? Uh...101? Out of 33,834,093 people? I am so sorry for each one of the victims and their families, but I wonder if we are exposed to more FEAR than virus?

apathy. All the information and misinformation becomes jumbled in my brain, and then I remember that I do not currently have a flu, swine or not, and that to date, I don't think I've ever had a serious flu, of any combination of letters and numbers. I simply don't feel like I'm going to DIE from the FLU tomorrow, and so apathy sets in, and I admit I'm inclined to wait a bit, and see what happens.

suspicion. Something's not kosher. Squalene in the vaccine... a few weeks of testing... deadly pandemic vs. mild flu variant... everyone either wants my money or my arm or my defiance.

fear. I'm suddenly in the position of having to make a decision for another person. At 9 months old Oliver hasn't yet decided what he thinks of flus and vaccines and all things porcine. But he's awfully little, and I dislike the prospects of him facing such an intense virus and such an intense vaccine.

phlegm. This isn't really an emotion per se, but Oliver and I have runny noses, and I'm loath to ask our bodies to fight an injected version of a virus (among other things) while we are currently fighting a virus. Give a body a break.

ennui. Swine flu? H1N1 still? Isn't this soooo last spring? Can we get over this? Let's talk about something more current. Like the balloon boy.

concern again. Sure, it's just a virus. But... it seems to be a fast virus. And an unpredictable virus. And a nasty virus. Fast, unpredictable and nasty, the kind a nice girl like me was told to stay away from.

So here we are. I'm still unsure of how my family will proceed, but we're formulating some plans. There are strong arguments on both sides of this issue, and I think in the long run we benefit by dispensing information and letting the individual decide what is best for themselves. Those who chose to vaccinate feel safe knowing that they are protected while contributing to 'herd immunity' (though the reference to 'herds' is a little touchy (incidentally, a herd of pigs is called a drove. Who knew?)). Those who decline the shot feel better about avoiding the less savoury vaccine ingredients (thimersol, squalene... yum!). We are all playing the numbers game, irrespective of which side we are on. And people aren't exactly dying in droves (catch that?).

Catch that?? The odds favour us, irrespective of what we do. Some people will have vaccine side effects. The vast majority will not. Some people will become seriously ill with H1N1. The vast majority will not.

The point is, we're going to be ok. Breathe. We. Are. Going. To. Be. OK. So make your decision using research and consideration and instinct, get on with your life, and quit swining about it!

Tick Talk

2009-09-13T22:54:00.000-04:00

They say Time Heals All Wounds.

This prognosis makes me uneasy, both as a wordie (for lack of a better word) and a doctor, because a) I dislike cliches and 2) it's just a way of beating around the bush, no? Isn't this what we say when we don't know when a problem will go away, or even if? Romance gone awry, lingering injuries, problems big and small that we are powerless to mend. Just when you think you are out of options - don't despair! There is one thing you haven't tried - Time! And the good news? It has a 100% effectiveness rate!

Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing in the entire universe that I despise more than hyperbole. All wounds? Each and every one? I assume this extends beyond basic flesh wounds and lacerations, but to what end? Wounds in which salt has been rubbed? The walking wounded? A wounded heart? Does it matter if the heart was broken via love lost or arrhythmia? Dropsy? (Does anyone even get dropsy anymore?)

I say with confidence and authority that time most certainly does not heal all wounds. Like trepanation, reparative therapy and retail therapy, Time as a treatment modality is not guaranteed effective (though I once used retail therapy in the form of these shoes to cure a particularly stubborn cough*).And I wonder - are we ever fully healed from the things that affect us? My own back injuries have been treated and no longer impede me the way they once did, but I still bear the scar and my nerve will never be the same. Am I healed? Does being healed mean that all evidence is cleared? Or just that the symptoms are gone? We are remarkably markable, us humans. Our bodies remember. And if therapy and treatment and ice cream and love can't heal us, what makes us think that something so amorphous (and debatable!) as Time, will?

One of the most common things I hear in my office is "I thought it would go away". Or else the problem seemed to 'go away', but then came back, usually with a vengeance. This is the problem with waiting instead of treating; you risk making an acute and often simple problem into a chronic and complicated one. Scar tissue builds up, compensating muscles take over. Inflammation sets in, pain cycles develop. Sure, healing takes Time, but it also takes effort. And in my experience, waiting and seeing is rarely the best choice of (in)action. All chronic problems started out acute, and only worsened with Time. So much for its healing powers...

So what is it about Time that we have such faith in, anyway? And if it truly is such a miraculous healer, wouldn't someone besides Jim Croce have bottled it up and marketed the hell out of it?

(get it? Time in a bottle? I've been working on an ending for weeks... and all I can come up with is a 70s song reference. But the point stands - when injured, don't wait! Get treated!)

* results not typical

Gratuitous Baby Update

2009-08-18T22:17:00.003-04:00

I'm working on posts relevant to this blog. I haven't forgotten why I started writing. Stay tuned for things chiropracticish... soon!

In the meantime... Oliver!

Does this Manifesto make my butt look big?

2009-07-26T10:05:00.000-04:00

I went shopping for yoga pants the other day, at a certain overpriced and unnamed yoga pants emporium. And printed on their shopping bag, was the company Manifesto. While I appreciate their use of Lycra and respect their dedication to athletics, I am perplexed by their Manifesto. For starters, why does a clothing store need a Manifesto? And why does making fabulous pants that mold my rear in ways that yoga promised to but has not, make one an expert on life in general? Please understand, I need these pants, I LOVE these pants, among my wardrobe, these yoga pants shoulder stand alone. They are suitable for work and for work-out, and worth every one of the $10,000 pennies they cost. I'm sure the yoginis on the mountain tops will agree that they've, like, totally changed the sport of yoga, for sure.

But a Manifesto... really?

Quit playing philosopher. Nietzsche you ain't. Witness the following gems of wisdom I received, when all I wanted were well-fitting pants...:

"Breathe deeply and appreciate the moment. Living in the moment could be the meaning of life." Could be? A bit under-convincing, no? Hell, the pursuit of the perfect pair of comfortable but cute sandals could be the meaning of life. A manifesto should be definitive! I need answers!

"stress is related to 99% of all illness" While I don't doubt that stress negatively impacts the immune system and makes us vulnerable to illness, this is so obviously contrived. Besides, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.

"the pursuit of happiness is the source of all unhappiness" Seeking joy is the source of misery? How depressing.

"Take various vitamins. You never know what small mineral can eliminate the bottleneck to everlasting health" Now really. Various vitamins? This is not a prescription for health. For starters, the prevailing concept of 'vitamins are good, so more vitamins must be better' is false. In fact, some vitamins negatively interact with certain conditions or medications. Also, vitamins in synthetic form are not the same as their natural counterparts. In vivo (fancy for 'in the living') vitamins interact with each other and cofactors and other stuff that I should have paid more attention to in biochemistry, whereas in pill form... well, it is processed by definition, hence, inferior. I believe in using vitamins as medicine - when needed and as needed. This careless advice is foolish, and if your health is so 'bottlenecked', then perhaps you need more than 'one small mineral' to lead you to 'everlasting health'. Bollocks.

"Don’t trust that an old age pension will be sufficient" - you are an accountant too? What can't you do?

"Children are the orgasm of life. Just like you did not know what an orgasm was before you had one, nature does not let you know how great children are until you have them". What? *blush*. I... I just wanted yoga pants?! Orgasm? I... uh... do you have these pants in a size orgasm i mean size 6? Does the person who wrote this have kids? Because I vow to never, EVER, refer to my child that way. I just... oh my.

"Communication is COMPLICATED. We are all raised in a different family with slightly different definitions of every word. An agreement is an agreement only if each party knows the conditions for satisfaction and a time is set for satisfaction to occur." Well. My brain officially hurts. I don't think we each have different definitions for every word, that certainly would make communication as COMPLICATED as they find it, since words would cease to have meaning, and THAT'S WHAT DICTIONARIES ARE FOR YOU CAN'T JUST DEFINE WORDS HOWEVER YOU WANT, EVEN IF YOU'VE STRETCHED THE DEFINITION OF YOGA PANTS TO MEAN SEMI-FORMAL WEAR. Hence, I disagree with your manifesto and don't anticipate being satisfied at any time in the future.

An eco-friendly shopping bag is a powerful thing - it carries purchases and the meaning of life and lets me save the earth by shopping. But few, if any, of history's great manifestos were printed on a shopping bag, and this one... I'm not buying.

Things that are a pain in the neck

2009-06-14T17:46:00.002-04:00

1. The pain between your shoulder blades. You may think you have been stabbed in the back, but unless your name is Caesar, that sharp pain is probably due to a 'pinched' nerve in your neck (and not your best friend!). It is called cervicogenic dorsalgia, fancy for 'back pain originating in the neck', and it is very common. Et tu, Brute?

2. Tailgaters. Especially when you have to keep checking your blind spot, because some jerk is attempting to drive into your trunk.

3. The pain in my neck. Really, it hurts! Fortunately I was able to get an adjustment of my own today. Someone needs to treat the chiropractor!

4. Your flat pillow. Your really fluffy pillow. Your 4 pillows stacked one on top of the other. Find a pillow, one pillow, that gives you sweet dreams and neck support. I like a cervical pillow with memory foam.

5. Necking. Actually, I have yet to see a patient injure their neck while necking. So consider making out a chiropractically safe activity!

6. Headaches. Neck tension and misaligned vertebra in the cervical spine are a major cause of headaches.

7. The albatross around your neck.

8. Rubbernecking. It causes 16% of distraction-related traffic accidents, and whiplash is another major cause of neck pain.

9. Younger sisters. (Hi Pam!)

10. Trying to think of a 10th witty and relevant item to complete this list. Yeesh...

Lunch is on me...

2009-06-02T10:46:00.002-04:00

Pregnancy is said to be a beautiful and wondrous time in a woman's life. And it is. But in retrospect, it is also a bloated and hormotional time in a woman's life, and let's face it... a totally surreal and bizarre time in said woman's life. You not only double in size, but in number of people.

As my pregnancy crept ever so slowly to an end, I thought a lot about whether I would miss the experience of nourishing this other, of being able to provide everything it (he) needed to survive. Then I started having contractions, and 3 short weeks later Oliver was born. We got off to a great start breast-feeding, and while nursing him before dawn it dawned on me - aside from baby Gap, I was still the sole provider of everything he needed. Just the method of delivery changed.

I love nursing. I love that my son's chubby thighs are from me (my milk and my genes!), I am privileged to spend every few hours (a little less privileged in the middle of the night) cuddled up, bonding, nourishing... it is lovely. I didn't know I'd enjoy it this much - it surprises me still. It is sort of like discovering that what was previously only decorative is suddenly functional - like your favourite bracelet is also a GPS unit. Breasts - pretty and useful! Who knew?

I realize how fortunate we are, Oliver and I, to have navigated nursing with only a few minor injuries*. This 'natural' process is not so natural or easy for some, and I urge those mamas who have trouble nursing but want to forge ahead to seek out a lactation consultant. Irrespective of how you feed your baby, from the bottle or the breast, poor posture at mealtime will cause discomfort in the upper back; do this every two hours and it can become agonizing. Add in a lack of sleep and bending over a change table... and you get the picture. I'll leave the technicalities of nursing to Janice, my favourite doula, prenatal educator and breast-feeding instructor, but allow me to draw on my dual qualifications as a nursing mother and a chiropractor to offer a little help and some relief for nursing pain and discomfort unrelated to the chestal region.

Breast-feeding moms, nature and the laws of engorgement are on your side, since they dictate that you hold the baby on alternating sides with each feed. Bottle feeding moms (and dads!), on the other hand will usually pick a preferred side, leading to asymmetry and more pain. Another downside to single-sided feedings is that the baby may develop neck muscles asymmetrically from turning their head in one direction. Consider switching sides, even if holding the bottle in the other hand feels odd at first.

The most useful prop is a nursing pillow - especially in the early weeks when the baby is tiny. It helps bring the baby closer to the breast, to prevent hunching over. There are a variety of different types, so find the one that works for you. Mine was polka-dotted, that worked best for me. Really any pillow will do, you don't need a cleverly-named one (really - breast friends?) to support things (the baby, arms, low back). Stack pillows under and around yourself and the baby until you are comfortable. It's not rocket science.

Put a pillow or other support in the small of the low back - maintaining this curve is key. When you collapse through the low back, your shoulders are thrust forward and the neck must compensate to stay upright. Keep the lumbar curve supported, and your upper back and neck will fall into a better position.

Get a massage! Have someone watch the baby, or ask if you can bring the baby along (they sleep so much in those early days, and many therapists will be happy to accommodate you, especially during slower periods in the middle of the day). At the very least, have your partner attempt a shoulder rub. If anyone deserves a massage, it is a new mom. 'nuff said.

Get an adjustment! Really... just do it. Your posture has experienced so many changes throughout pregnancy, hormonal changes have relaxed and tensed your ligaments, you now carry around an ever growing load of baby... the stress on your spine is significant. A chiropractor can restore mobility, reduce pain, get things back to normal, whatever that is! The relief from that first adjustment after baby arrives is enormous. Moms... get your back adjusted. Aaah.

Relax the shoulders. There is a tendency to raise the shoulders when we don't need to! This shoulder hiking happens when feeding the baby, holding her, rocking her... but your shoulders are not needed! Relax them. You can hold the baby just as well with them down, away from your ears.

Get comfortable at the start of a feeding, so that 10 (or 45!) minutes later you aren't going numb or in pain from holding the baby in an awkward position. In a cradle hold, soften the shoulders and rest your elbow on a pillow, not against a hard arm rest. A food stool is great too, for taking pressure off the legs and low back. In a side lying breastfeeding position, put a pillow under the neck and another between the knees. If Mama's not comfortable, NO ONE is.

Experiment with different feeding positions. Bottle feeders, switch sides, or have someone else take over a feeding or two to give yourself a break. Breast feeders, there are many positions to try, and even though you may have a favourite, mixing it up may prevent muscle overuse. And be creative - you don't need to use the positions listed on a website or breastfeeding pamphlet. Whatever gets the baby to the breast comfortably is good. Lying across your chest, sitting on your lap... really, whatever works, works. Oliver will quite literally latch in any position possible. I once fed him suspended from the ceiling by a series of bungee cords.

Hopefully meal time is an enjoyable one, for all parties involved. Luckily, my young son has a sophisticated palate and really enjoys eating; indeed I am consumed with joy.

*don't let the baby latch onto your chin. It may seem funny at the time, but you will regret it.

I love food...

2009-05-14T16:06:00.006-04:00

When I met Devon Strachan, a holistic nutritionist who ALSO loves food... well, it was like a match made in heaven... or a kitchen... or a restaurant. The point is, I love food, she loves food, ergo, I love Devon. She and I will sit down and start to chat about food, real food versus the fake food we tend to eat, how to cook food, how to use food to be more healthy... food, glorious food, and whad'ya know, it is 2 hours later, and boy am I hungry.

So I did the only thing I could - I made her a part of the team at RHCC.

And the best part? Each week, she brings a snack for everyone to try. A healthful snack. An easy-to-make snack. A delicious snack. But most importantly, SHE BRINGS A SNACK.

Today Devon treated the patients of RHCC to the following concoction. If you weren't in the clinic to sample Devon's version, feel free to make it yourself at home!

Olive Tapanade
How to make it:
Blend 1 can black olives, 2 cloves raw garlic, 2 tablespoons caper juice in food processor .
Remove goat cheese from fridge to soften.
Spread thin of layer goat cheese on the bottom of the bowl,all of the olive spread, a second think layer of goat cheese, top generously with capers.
Serve with whole grain bread or crackers!

Why to make it:
Olives: good source of vitamin E
Capers: powerful antioxidant
Goat cheese: promotes good bacteria in digestive tract
Garlic: naturally anti-bacterial

Unfortunately we were too hungry to take the picture before diving in... enjoy!

Post-partum recession

2009-04-21T13:30:00.000-04:00

There comes a time when every new mother must accept that maternity pants are not meant to be eternity pants. When the 'maternity' part of the equation no longer applies, lets face it, they are now just pants; elasticized pants, large pants. In truth, they are buffet pants.

We are in a recession, it seems, and I'm ready to do some receding of my own. Time to get in shape, or rather out of my current pear shape and into something more angular. Muscles are the new black.

I admit to indulging over the last few weeks - the last 52 weeks, to be exact. A year ago I peed on a stick and saw a + sign. Since then, the '+' has come to refer to '+ sized' - portions, garments, waistline. It is getting harder and harder to convince myself that my gaining weight is good for the baby.

And so, back to the gym I go. Salads and grilled chicken for me please, maybe a little guidance from Devon the holistic nutritionist. A little hard work for a new pair of jeans. Spring cleaning for this body.

I have many motivations to get in shape. I want to be healthy for my family, for myself. I want to have the energy to keep up with my son, and be strong enough to carry him in my arms, always. And I want to go shopping for a new pair of jeans... ones without an elasticized waist band!

Is that so wrong?

Hi Ho, Hi Ho...

2009-04-12T10:29:00.002-04:00

Back to work I go!

My maternity leave is over. Though I much enjoyed the time with Oliver, I am excited to return to work, happy to have conversations with people who converse back and who don't drool on me. During these early days I will often have my young son with me at the office, which is convenient for feedings, cuddles and getting an early start on his chiropractic training. It also allows me to use him as a tax deduction - an 11 week old can be considered an 'assistant', no?

There is a lot going on at the clinic now; I am excited to start working with Devon Strachan, a wonderful registered holistic nutritionist who has joined the practice. She is a real foodie who understands that healthy can and should be delicious, and that simple is usually best. Monday night yoga classes are ongoing, and our monthly baby massage classes are a hit. There is nothing cuter than a roomful of nearly naked babies. NOTHING. Of course we also offer acupuncture treatments and qi gong classes and massage therapy, and of course... chiropractic.

Spring is a wonderful time, for renewal, returning to work, getting in shape, getting back into health. Let us know how we can help you fully express yourself this spring.

Welcome to the last resort, enjoy your stay

2009-04-08T00:02:00.001-04:00

There is a time and place for everything. That's what they say. Actually, Barclay said 'there is tyme and place for euery thynge', but that's the kind of spelling you'd expect from someone who travels on a ship of fools. The point is I haven't slept in a couple of months... oh, I've already used that excuse, excuse me.

Ah right. The point is, there is a time and a place for everything. Of course, this assumes that I am referring to the observable universe and not the possibility of multiverse, in which case there would be more than one time and place for everything. But dopplegangers and Hilbert Space are beyond the scope of this blog, so I'll leave the parallel dimensions to the less sleep deprived, to people whose conversations don't regularly include such poetics as "did someone make a poopy diaper?" and "who's mommy's little puppy bear? yes you are! yes you are my puppy bear!!".

The point, for real now, is that there is a time and place for everything. Of course, this relates to chiropractic, as do all things chiroscope. See, chiropractic is remarkably effective. It is safe, efficient and great at fixing a lot of ouches and twinges and whatnot. But sometimes, it can't. Medicine and surgery, on the other hand, are also great. Sometimes. You see? A tyme and a place for euery thynge.

Take me, for example (well, I don't see any other volunteers...). Chiropractic helped me manage my lower back issues for many years. It still does. But when the situation became unmanageable, despite my most dogged attempts at all things conservative, surgery was recommended to prevent permanent nerve damage. It was time to visit the last resort. And though I was drug-free and as natural as could be during my pregnancy, when my son's heart rate decelerated enough to make my own heart stop, a cesarean section was recommended. Again, I visited the last resort.

It is not a place you go to easily, the last resort. It is not a choice destination, but rather a choice we make when it seems we are out of choices. Both times I have resorted to the last resort, I've been lucky and grateful to have the option. I'd exhausted all other avenues, and it was the right place at the right time.

For people who pride themselves on being healthy or able to resist pain, on choosing the natural path or being able to self-heal (uh... me?) it can be difficult to succumb to more drastic measures and interventions, hard to acknowledge that the simple solution isn't going to work this time. For people whose identity lies in these factors, say practitioners of natural healing arts (me again?), it can be hard to admit 'defeat', that we couldn't fix this problem, that the philosophies and techniques that we espouse weren't helpful, this time.

I've stayed at better places, but I'm glad to know that there is always an vacancy at the last resort.

Fight The Good Fight

2009-03-15T00:18:00.002-04:00

I am a pacifist. Actually, lately I suspect that I'm also a pacifier, though I try to encourage the baby to not loiter too long after eating. The point is... what was the point? Oh, the point is that I haven't slept in a long time and can no longer hold a train of thought.

Oh! No. The point is, I generally avoid confrontation. If you are going to yell at me, I'll probably just give you what you want to save my eardrums. Please don't tell my child this, though he likely suspects my weakness for shreekiness. Take last night, for example, when I felt that 3 hours seemed like an appropriate amount of time to swing a person. My 10 lb 14 oz opponent disagreed. We compromised, concluding that I'll just swing him in my arms until he starts high school, and he'll never cry again. And it's fine, really it is!

There are some times though, when I cannot walk away from a fight, when standing up for myself becomes not just a matter of principle, but my well-being and possibly my survival. This is when the discussion turns to my health. There are no people more worth fighting for than myself and my family, nothing more important than our health, and no doctor or facility that will ever back me into a corner. Which is not to say that I go around looking to fight endocrinologists or to imply that I enjoy going head to head with psychiatrists. I have deep respect for those in the health professions, especially in Canada where the vast majority are overworked and underpaid for their efforts. Actually, Canada is a big part of the problem. Canadians are the rest of the problem. Oh, Canada.

Because of our FREE! and wonderful health care system, we wait in long lines to see a doctor and are just grateful to be seen. We are less inclined to realize our rights, since we aren't paying for the service (directly) and, well, the doctor knows, right?

But what about when the doctor isn't right, or the treatment just isn't right for you? What if the wait time is too long? Maybe the specialist you were so lucky to get into didn't listen to you or rubbed you the wrong way? Well, then you remind yourself that your tax dollars pay for these services, and you speak up. I realize this is easier to do when you have the vocabulary and training behind you, certainly hospital staff are less likely to think you are just a pain in the butt when tell them you have an acute gluteal antalgia, but even the less eloquent have rights. You are entitled to a detailed and thorough examination and explanation of your problem. You deserve to know your treatment options, including what happens if you don't accept a proposed treatment. You are entitled to seek a second and even a third opinion. You should be free to ask as many questions as you have, even the stupid ones. You deserve to be treated with respect and empathy. We need to understand that when we visit a doctor, we are hiring him to do a job, paying with our tax dollars instead of our wallet. We have rights.

I recently exercised my right to fight the system. A day after checking out of the hospital with my new son, I had to return. The baby was fine, but I was only a few degrees away from having cat scratch fever. The doctor recommended antibiotics, which after confirming that they were compatible with breast-feeding, I agreed to take. It was further recommended that I stay the night, and since I had no plans except to hallucinate my fever away, I also agreed. Then I was told that while I was welcome to stay chez Women's College, for FREE! natch, my 4-day-old son was not welcome, since he had already checked out. The hospital claimed that there was nothing they could do, it was impossible, their hands were tied. This was the best option they could come up with.

And just like Dee Snider, I wasn't going to take it.

To separate a newborn from his mother, his comfort, and his food source because of administrative 'impossibilities' was unacceptable. So much so, that I was prepared to take my medication, go home with my infant and return the next day for my next dose and follow-up, a plan the hospital did not like. After negotiations and help from my husband and midwife, we came up with an acceptable solution, one that satisfied my medical and personal needs. But I wonder what a more timid or 'compliant' patient would have done, and I feel for the patient who doesn't know that they can say no or request a different plan of action.

Fighting for your rights doesn't mean being belligerent or demanding, but rather it means tactfully insisting on getting the care you need. In my health history, this has meant 'hiring' a neurosurgeon, a midwife and an obstetrician, a family doctor, and many, many chiropractors. These experts have helped me to manage different concerns, but always it is me who is ultimately responsible for my health decisions and outcomes. I have declined some medications and taken others. I have refused some tests and demanded others. I have asked for help getting earlier specialist appointments when my body told me not to wait and been a patient patient at other times. I do my best to make my doctors aware of my expectations, my needs, and my preferences, and this way I have been best able to look out for myself, and know that I will always be OK. I hope that you can say the same.

As the Beastie Boys teach, "you've got to fight for your rights"...to party... but it still applies. Give a new mother a break, this was the best closer I could come up with on 3 hours sleep, besides, I'm busy swinging my son.

You Make Plans...

2009-03-05T11:45:00.005-05:00

There is a lot of talk these days about 'health plans'. These two words don't always go together well though, 'cause when it comes to your health, anything can and will happen.

I hope this isn't scary, but rather freeing. You might exercise a little or a lot, eat at Burger.King daily or never, follow the rules or break them, and typically, your health will follow suit. But sometimes the exercise freak has a heart attack, and his chubby friend rushes him to the hospital. Sometimes the yogi has low back pain and the weekend warrior cruises unharmed. Sometimes genetics/fate/happenstance intervene, despite (or in spite of) our best intentions.

So what is a fatalist to do? How does one accept that we can't always control or even predict how our bodies will behave? As corny as it sounds, I think the answer is to accept and let go. Search for the message in the event. Listen to your body, really hear what it is saying.

It is not unusual for people to come to me in crisis right before Christmas. Or a vacation. Or a wedding. Back pain often strikes at the worst time possible, in part because there really is no good time to be laid out flat on your back (well, not many good times). Fortunately, there are things you can do to expedite the healing process - chiropractic comes to mind (!), but always, time and patience are required. If you are injured, as frustrating as it may be, listen to your body, hear its message. It might be that you need to slow down, rest more. When we ignore the whispers (ooh, my back is a little tight!) the body shouts (AARGH my back REALLY HURTS!!!). Pay attention, spine owners!

I have a long history of painful back episodes, most coinciding with major life changes, as though my body was trying to sabotage my plans; the first time my back 'went out' was right before I started university. Other major flare-ups conveniently occurred at the start of my chiropractic internship, the week before my wedding, and during the first trimester of my pregnancy. My back is my weak spot and is at risk when I am under stress, and I now understand that I need to take extra precautions ahead of potentially stressful times. I get an adjustment before the vacation, start yoga before I'm stressed, get a massage before I really need one. I try to avoid being shouted at by my body by giving it what it needs, before it NEEDS it.

But it doesn't always work, and inevitably, we all will get aches and pains. So when those old familiar (painful) feelings come back, relax. Cancel your plans, call in sick, visit your chiropractor, have a massage or some acupuncture. Invest in a good reusable ice pack (really people, spend the $5, and make the peas for dinner!) and rent some DVDs (I recommend Arrested Development - even funnier the second time around). Get some rest, chances are you need it.

Remember, this too shall pass.

All In The Family

2009-02-16T19:35:00.002-05:00

When I was pregnant, people warned me that when the baby comes, all other things fall by the wayside. Not for me, I insisted... I'm a multitasker extraordinaire. In fact, right now as I compose this blog, I'm concurrently typing, getting a head start on my 2009 taxes, baking a souffle and sanding the floors. Puh-lease, a little tiny baby should present no problem.

And yet, here we are, over a fortnight since my last post. My readers must be outraged. But trust that I've been racking my sleep-deprived brain for chiropractic and health-related blog topics all the while. Knee injuries? The effects of foot pronation on low back pain? Natural headache remedies? All fascinating, to be sure, but not as captivating as my TINY ADORABLE BABY!

To hell with lumbago, my baby is taking his first bath!

Who cares about proper sleep positions... my baby sleeps swaddled up tight!

Sure, I can treat your foot pain... but check out my baby's tiny foot!!

So you see the problem. But presently he sleeps, and here I blog. In the spirit of this weekend's holidays honouring St. Valentine and his family, please allow me this bit of cyberspace to 'kvell'. For I have recently gone from being part of a couple to part of a family, and I am deeply, severely, completely, in love.

So enjoy this long weekend, spend time with people you love and with your family (if you are lucky, there will be some overlap there), and forgive me for being slightly baby obsessed for now. I blame it on the oxytocin coursing through my veins.

But can you blame me?

Oliver Everett Roth

2009-01-30T18:14:00.002-05:00

Born January 24, 2009. Oliver shares a birthday with both his mother and his paternal grandmother.

6 pounds, 11 ounces of fuzziness.

I'm in love.

Labour Strike

2009-01-20T20:30:00.000-05:00

It is now day 10 of the labour strike, but it is unclear who is on strike - the baby or I? Scientists don't fully understand which party initiates labour, who 'gets this party started' as it were. In sheep, where thankfully extensive research has been done, it is the fetus who makes the exit strategy. But my baby is no sheep, and here we are, on day 10 of our stand-off. Silly me for assuming that 41+ weeks of gestation entitled me to a baby, that contractions were part of the contract.

Further attempts at deploying a peaceful withdrawal strategy have included evening primrose oil, more acupuncture, spicy food in every form, meditation, recipes incorporating eggplant and pineapples (eww, not together!), homeopathic remedies and walking every mall and street in Toronto. I've also made tons of dates and appointments I couldn't possibly keep, in the hopes of tempting fate. Instead, I've brunched and lunched, visited the salon and watched long movies, and started, completed and eated 8-hour-crockpot recipes.

A good friend likes to tell me that this is my first lesson in parenthood, that things don't go according to plan. Got it. Lesson learned. Let's move on now, shall we? Surely there are other lessons awaiting me, like how to put on a diaper, or uh, how to raise a child.

There is a lot of talk about induction lately, and January 20th holds much promise. As I watched Barack Obama's induction into office as President of the United States, I thought a lot about my own induction ceremonies, though unlike Obama, mine may include castor oil. These are desperate times, people. It certainly is an auspicious time for a new arrival though, a good day to mark the end of one, full term, and start another, yes?

Yes we can, baby... yes we can.

If I can't have you right now, I'll wait dear...

2009-01-11T01:28:00.028-05:00

People have much to say about pregnancy, everyone seems to be an expert. Take me, for example - I've written how many posts about having a baby? And I don't even HAVE a baby!

Old wives, new wives and even my plumber all have tales about what to do, what not to do, what to expect when you are expecting. (Interesting fact: I've dealt more with my plumber than my midwife in the last few weeks. Everything water-related seems to be breaking, except my water.) Now that I'm officially overdue, I hear a lot about how to induce labour. I thought I'd sum up my experiences so far.

Chiropractic adjustments. These have been a part of my routine this whole pregnancy. Drs Bain, Steiner and Weisberg have all kept me aligned and feeling well. To be honest I didn't bother making an appointment this week, since I'd obviously be busy with my newborn. Ha.

Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, said to tonify the uterus. I've drunk (drank? drinken?) so much of this. It is all we have in the house. Even my husband is drinking it. And neither one of us has birthed a baby, yet.

Prenatal massage. This is not a luxury, but a necessity. Amanda saved me when my back flared up early on, Kaaren kept me going in the middle months, and Kristy has worked her magic on my ribs and hips in these last weeks. I managed to get one more massage in last week, though if this baby stays put, I guess I'll just have to book another treatment!

Energy Work. I visited with Shawn Gallagher last week to try out some new therapies she has been studying. This is the same woman who taught us hypnosis for childbirth, a class I really enjoyed and will report on after I've had the chance to put her lessons to use. She is a wonderful practitioner, intuitive and calming, and we worked on releasing any blockages or fears that I may be holding onto surrounding this upcoming birth. I felt remarkably lighter after the session with her, no small feat for a person carrying around so much weight! I can't recommend her enough.

Stretch and sweep. The midwife does this. On one's cervix. You may feel crampy after. That's all I'll say about that.

People have recommended, uh, partaking in certain, umm, activities to induce labour, the kind of activities that get a lady in this sort of predicament in the first place. Ha Ha. That's all I'll say about THAT.

Acupuncture. Lisa Quaning is one of my favourite people, and without a doubt my favourite acupuncturist. She personifies tranquility and exudes peacefulness. Her treatments are as lovely and relaxing as they are effective. She painlessly inserted the needles, smiling as she suggested that there may be some tenderness to come... and I'll admit it, it was a bit tender. But the baby moved a lot and got the hiccups, so that has to mean something, right? I will try this again on Monday if I haven't had the baby.

Eviction notice. Unfortunately the tenancy laws in Toronto are notoriously biased toward the resident, who at this point is technically a squatter.

Evening Primrose Oil. I took this, though it is hard to say if it worked, because I also ordered in take-out that night. Leading me to...

Eat spicy food. Indian! Chicken tikka massala, aloo ghobi... yum. But I think it was the lamb vindaloo that got me. Because a few hours later, I woke up having contractions! They increased in intensity and frequency, enough that we called the midwife... only to be accused of the rookie move, jumping the labour gun. Back to sleep it was.

So, those are my experiences so far. I'm resting now, hoping that tonight's full moon works its lunar magic, but I'm open to suggestions for next week, just in case. I'm thinking: return to work (maternity leave isn't really living up to its name, is it?), trampoline lessons, eat jalapeno peppers, more acupuncture, install new shelving in the laundry room, begging and bribing the baby.

But you know, (love,) there's one more thing to consider - the words of the poet Axl Rose, who said woman take it slow, it'll work itself out fine, all we need is just a little patience...

Eviction Notice

2009-01-05T20:15:00.000-05:00

Dear Baby;

The fat lady has sung (laaaa!). It is time... get out!

Your lease is up. I assumed it was understood that the current domestic arrangements were temporary, a place for you to stay until you could make it on your own in the outside world.

I also feel that you are too attached to me. Let's try some time and space apart - just a little bit! You'll be fine. Please vacate the premises ASAP.

You've generally been a great tenant, though at times I questioned the hours you keep, and apparently you are a cast member of Riverdance. We can talk about these things on the outside though, after you are born! (and can you get me tickets?)

Frankly you've outgrown your current space, you've run out of womb. The superintendent (your father) and I feel that you should expand your horizons. It is time, baby, to explore the world.

I look forward to meeting with you in person - I'm so excited, I'm literally bursting at the seams!

Respectfully and with love,
Your mother.

auld lang syne

2008-12-31T16:45:00.002-05:00

Finally, 2009... I for one couldn't be happier.

After the gluttony of the holidays, it is now time to make empty promises to be better next year! Resolutions... do you ever think that perhaps the people who need them most are the ones with the least resolve? Most resolutions revolve around promises of better health or a vow to increase the proportion of virtue to vice (or vice versa). I suppose if they motivate change for the better resolutions can't be all bad, but the act of resolving to do something seems destined to fail. Better we choose our paths along the way, not just when the Gregorian calendar adds a year... no?

However, being of particularly sound and sober mind this year, I am ready to make a few... choices, myself. And not just regular boring 'get in shape!' or 'be nicer to my sister!' ones, but ones I can really do... or at least have fun failing at.

For 2009, I resolve and choose to:

Have a baby! Within the month of January!
Be able to do push-ups again, without my belly getting in the way. And chin-ups. Less one chin.
Continue to blog.
Not let this space turn into a 'mommy blog'. I'll try to remember why you come here - the health tips! The astute observances! The sarcasm!! (and... maybe a few baby updates...!!)
Aim for balance in my life. It is difficult enough at the best of times to balance being a chiropractor, a wife, a friend and an individual. Adding 'mother' to the mix can only complicate things, in the most wonderful way possible. I'm up for the challenge.

I hope whatever choices you make for the upcoming year bring you happiness and fulfillment. For me, 2009 promises to be a year of watershed moments and new milestones.

I'm ready. Bring it.
Happy New Year!

A Great Miracle Happened Where?

2008-12-23T18:00:00.000-05:00

I've been told that my baby-to-be is a miracle.

People stare in awe at my bump, and declare it miraculous. And though the fact that there are garments generous enough to cover my circumference is somewhat awesome, it has more to do with the extraordinary properties of lycra than any metaphysical occurrence. The word miracle gets thrown around a lot, and while I'm blown away that a HUMAN BEING IS GROWING INSIDE OF ME and privileged to be its host, with 4 births occuring every second around the world, you'd think we'd stop being impressed by the event.

A miracle is defined as an extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause. A wonder, a marvel. The spiritualist in me agrees that this life being created is indeed a wonder, whose existence is the result of a love between two people, the whim of a higher being, and elements that we cannot understand like fate and chance. The scientist in me rolls her eyes, and says that specialized cells meet under favourable conditions, and approximately 40 gestational weeks later, baby is born. The scientist then goes on to ask, sarcastically, if something that can be created just as well by a pair of randy 16-year-olds can ever be called miraculous. She then gets kicked in the ribs by her very own miracle.

But 'tis the season, and there is a lot of talk about miracles, what with immaculate conceptions and oil lasting a week longer than expected, and it just has me thinking, 'tis all. I've decided that this is something of a miracle, but in the same way that a tree is a miracle; an everyday, beautiful, boring, miracle.

So whether you are spending this holiday season contemplating the arrival of a baby, thinking about people with big round bellies, lighting candles and eating deep-fried potatoes, or just spending time with friends and family, I hope it is a nice one for you. (I'll be doing all of the above!)

Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and Happy Festivus (for the rest of us!)!

As the twig is bent...

2008-12-17T18:02:00.006-05:00

There is a saying in chiropractic. Well, actually there are a few sayings in chiropractic, such as "Chiropractic adds years to life, and life to years!" (incidentally, this was disproved...) and "See you next Tuesday, Janice". But one I really like is "As the twig is bent, so grows the tree".

It is used to illustrate the necessity of chiropractic for kids. For some reason the idea of adjusting kids is off-putting to many adults. They picture me cracking delicate little spines, crunching tiny vertebra. They reason that kids don't, or shouldn't, have back pain, that this is an affliction of the middle-age, like arthritis and mom-jeans.

I'm not going to convince you that your children need to be adjusted regularly, I'm not convinced myself. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right? But what do you do for the 8-year-old complaining of back pain? Or the 4-year-old who fell really hard on his bum at the park? Maybe your child has been having unrelenting digestive issues but has been cleared by every specialist in town... and you've heard that chiropractic just might help?? What then?

Then bring that child to the chiropractor. Find a doc who is comfortable working with little kids and little spines. Learn how gentle adjustments are on children, the force proportionate to the person. On tiny babies it is really more of a gentle, sustained pressure at a specific spot!

We ask a lot of kids. We encourage them to be active, making them vulnerable to the usual sports injuries, then sit them at a desk all day long like adults, predisposing them to postural problems. Yet we are shocked when little bodies hurt, and often reluctant to treat them. "Dylan shouldn't have back pain, he is only 10-years-old!" Can you imagine doing this with any other health problem? "Little Madison shouldn't have bronchitis, she is only 10-years-old!". Pain is just as real and important in kids as in adults, and they are no less deserving of treatment than we are.

One of the best things about treating kids is their lack of attachment to their aches and pains, combined with their short attention spans. Most of the time when I treat a child, only two or three visits are needed to 'resolve' the problem. They just... get better. When I ask at follow-up how their pain is, they often shrug and say 'fine', as if only 3 days ago they weren't complaining about the pain and asking to be let out of gym class. They just... get better.

As a chiropractor, I enjoy treating kids if and when it is appropriate. As a parent-to-be, I'll treat the spine of my spawn the same way - conservatively, if and when needed. I don't plan on ignoring their problems simply because they seem too young to be having them, and I don't plan to include back problems in their inheritance.

So back to that saying. As the twig is bent, so grows the tree. Injuries in childhood can become big problems in adulthood. Taking care of them early, nipping them in the bud as it were, will encourage good posture and spinal health.

Comings and Goings

2008-12-09T11:00:00.003-05:00

I can't believe it is already now. Today, or soon from it, once seemed so far away. Impossibly far away. Unbelievably far away. In the spring, when I first considered the passing of time and what it would bring, the seasons seemed resolutely unchangeable. But it's astounding, how time is fleeting... almost like a time warp.

And here we are. Now is the winter of my content, and I'm full with child, (yes, still only one in there...), due in about 4 weeks, getting ready to take a break from work to do... well, I'm not quite sure. Other work, I suppose - more motherly, less chiropractically.

We all must leave sometimes, right? Change is good, right?

I will likely start my maternity leave around Christmas, just like Mary did. I anticipate returning to work... sometime in March, in part because our socialized government never thought to extend any maternity leave benefits to self-employed women (If I were the type to get angered by unfair politics and policies that punish female small business owners, I'd surely blog about this sort of thing...). This is of course dependent on the whims of my new boss and his feeding and sleeping schedule.

During my baby sabbatical, my patients will be attended to by Dr. Alanna Steiner and Dr. Zachary Bain. Many of you have already met Dr . Bain at the clinic, but please allow me to introduce Dr. Steiner, an extremely caring and competent chiropractor.

Dr. Steiner's technique is remarkably similar to mine, and I will be in regular contact with her to make sure that she is up to date on the details and particulars of any patients she will be treating. You'll be in good hands!

Remember, although I'll be absent physically (and mentally from what I hear - apparently Baby Brain progresses to Mommy Brain) for a few weeks, I'm never really gone. I'll be posting blog updates (chiropractic! babies! random thoughts!!) and I'm always reachable some way or another... in the meantime, I'm still here, so get that adjustment while I can still reach across the chiropractic table!

Miss Conception

2008-12-04T12:23:00.001-05:00

All seems to be fine on the baby-making front, everything (everything) rounding out as it should. I seem to have entered the 'nesting' stage, a phenomenon seen throughout the animal kingdom as gravid mammals prepare the nest for their offspring. We are opting for a crib instead of a nest, but the preparations continue nonetheless.

I'm at mother nature's mercy, powerless against this cruel taskmistress's drive to clean and organize. I've cleaned the skeletons out of my closets, dusted the insides of all my envelopes and even done the laundry. It is doubly grueling work for me, because my new OCD doesn't stay confined to the house. At my clinic I'm cleaning just as frenetically, straightening up and straightening spines, and I find I cannot stand to let a patient leave with a single vertebra out of alignment - my baby simply must be born in a state of order.

As I obsessively and cleanly come to the end of my gestation, I've had time to reflect on this procreative era, and while I think I've mastered Pregnancy 101 (except for the final exam!), I still have a few outstanding issues that I'm confused on, misconceptions if you will. Raise your hand if you know an answer.

Is it OK to ask a woman how much weight she's gained? I thought the answer was almost always unequivocally NO. But it seems that the more protuberant my belly became, the more people wanted to know it's mass. Oh, I'll tell them, I'm not ashamed and it's not like I can hide this bump (hell, a muu-muu couldn't hide it) or the ice cream stains running down it for that matter... I just... thought that... people, MEN in particular... knew not to ask this. And by golly, they asked.

"Are you sure it's not twins?" Is this funny? Am I THAT large, or do you think that I may have already forgotten (one of) my babies? For the record, I'm sure.

What is the point of the linea negra, that charming line that appears down the stomach? I like to think it is slimming, being a vertical stripe and all, but perhaps I'm deluding myself? Why isn't there more research on this phenomenon?

Why the fascination with food cravings? This is one of the more popular questions I've heard - and don't get me wrong, meals are a favourite topic these days, but I feel like I'm a big fat disappointment when I don't cop to craving pickles and ice cream. Does 'food' count as a craving?

Baby stuff. Do I really need all this stuff? I'm being given lists of things that bounce and swing and vibrate and play music. Things to use for the first few weeks and a whole new inventory for the next few weeks. Things to sterilize with and things to stroll with, and their many, many accessories. Are these all necessary? Because I thought that all I really needed to start was couple of lactation dispensation devices (got 'em!) and some blankets...

What is the obsession with knowing the sex? I'd like to find out eventually, perhaps on the baby's birthday at the latest, but am I alone in savouring this delicious surprise? I want so badly to know, I can't wait to find out, I studied sex determination on ultrasound imaging and stared at that screen like my life depended on it...therefore I think I know the sex of this child, but I don't know for sure (I'm told that can look like a number of things...). And that uncertainty is tantalizing to me. It's like an unread book by your favourite author, an unopened letter, the anticipation of a good meal. (See? Back to food. Always back to food.)

The funny thing about being pregnant is that just when you think you've got it mastered, it changes. And from what I hear, that's what parenthood is kind of like too. But until then (5 weeks!), I'm enjoying this time between life before and life after, this pregnant pause if you will. Just call me Miss Conception 2008.

My Hips Don't Lie

2008-11-25T17:45:00.001-05:00

Today's blog post is about hips.

I know... you think you know 'the hips'. Often curvy, located between the thigh bone and the back bone. (Oh, those bones, those bones, those crazy skeleton bones.)

But when patients come in complaining of hip pain, it often becomes obvious that one of us didn't pass Anatomy 101. "My hip hurts", you say, pointing to your waist or lower back. "Fix my hip" you insist.

The picture to the left was found by Googling 'hip pain', though I'd refer to that area as the low back, the upper glutes, or even the 'iliac crest' if I thought you'd be impressed by that sort of thing. True hip joint pain will present in the front near the groin, as demonstrated by the picture to the right. Note that these are my favourite patients, the ones who present with their bones visible through their clothes and the problem highlighted in bright red. Makes for an easy diagnosis.

Just so we are clear: the hip joint proper refers to the connection between the femur (leg bone) inserting into the pelvis. So in fact, the thigh bone connects to the pelvic bone, and I don't really know what the hip bone is. It is a fascinating joint, the hip (to me anyway... though my favourite joint is the shoulder. Fun!), influenced by a host of muscles like the iliopsoas and the gluteals. It is a stable ball and socket joint, which sacrifices mobility for stability. This means that it is strong enough to hold up your hefty 'hips', Beyonce, but just mobile enough to let you walk, and rarely mobile enough to do the splits or the cancan.

I've had some of my own hip pain lately, thanks to a certain fetus who shall remain nameless (Especially if it is a girl, seriously, we can't agree on a name. Suggestions welcome...). This is a common pregnancy complaint, hip pain, due to pressure from the growing baby directly on the pelvic joints as well as muscular compensation around the area. In my case, the baby was positioned diagonally, the head pushing against the inside of one side of my pelvis.

Funny thing, it felt just like someone was pushing my pelvis apart from the inside.

My relief came in the form of massage, pelvic adjustments, and the baby committing to a more head down position. A complete cure for my particular condition apparently involves becoming a parent. Fortunately, most hip pain problems are much simpler to treat. Hip pain from arthritis is often managed with a combination of massage and modalities such as ultrasound, as well as nutritional supplements like glucosamine. Hip pain in runners is commonly due to iliotibial tightness and can be relieved by releasing that muscle. Hip pain may also be due to bursitis, a local inflammation that responds to ice and rest.

Tragically, hip pain is often misdiagnosed due to simple anatomical confusion. (Tragically Hip pain is entirely different, often due to pain in little bones, but can be fully completely treated.*) The important thing is to really understand the origin of your 'hip' pain, and treat it accordingly.

So, Shakira, your hips may not lie, but they sure are misleading. Work that into a catchy tune.

*I'm so sorry for this... so very sorry.

Baby Brain

2008-11-19T19:20:00.008-05:00

I've been trying to get a blog post up for the last week. I've got many started, covering fascinating and sure-to-be popular topics such as: 'Anatomically Relevant Idioms!', and 'Hip Hip Hooray... not. When Hip Pain Strikes', and the much anticipated 'Mind Over Uterus: Using Hypnosis to Manage Childbirth'. Of course these are all working titles only, but I'm sure I've whetted your literary and chiropractic appetites.

The problem? I can't finish a damn thing. This is not writer's block - I've got plenty to say! I just can't find the words. I'm... a little slow lately. With words. And stuff. Like on any given day I usually have at least one article of clothing on backwards. Fortunately (or not, as it were) it is usually a garment not visible to the public. I recently washed the television remote control along with the duvet cover, not noticing until halfway through the dry cycle (45 minutes of CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK didn't tip me off!). I know I've done other dimwitted things, but they've seemed to have slipped my mind. My sieve-like mind.

It took me a while to catch on. Perhaps I needed more sleep? A case of premature senility? Maybe too much zinc in my diet... or would that be not enough? Why was I so obtuse (thank you thesaurus.com)?

Baby Brain.

To be perfectly frank, I had always doubted the veracity (is that the right word?) of this condition. I felt it was an excuse that the, let's be honest here, more simple moms-to-be used to make up for their... uh... shortcomings. Surely a braniac like myself would only thrive during pregnancy. I'd spend the 9 months reading up on child-rearing philosophies while mastering sign language to teach to my genetically gifted infant, and maybe finish that book on Jung that I'd started.

Well. Mea Culpa (does that make sense? Latin is not a strong subject right now either...). My bad. Apparently, you're with stupid. I've got a bad case of baby brain. My blood stream has been rerouted to the womb.

So, loyal readers, forgive me if there is greater space between posts, for there seems to be greater space between my ears. I've got a bunch of really, really good stuff started... but these days the only thing I seem to be able to finish is a meal.

I Remember

2008-11-11T11:11:00.003-05:00

Remembrance Day.

As a child November 11th was about fuzzy plastic poppy pins (and wearing them in your mouth as funny lips), reciting "In Flanders Fields" and listening to a trumpet sound. And something about soldiers.

I never really felt much on this day, but this year seems more momentous. Maybe my own life-changing events are causing me to reflect. Perhaps the recent political election and renewed sense of hope from down south are affecting me. I just find myself thinking a lot this remembrance day, hoping that soon, the concept of war will be so far from our day to day life that it will become harder and harder to relate to. That we will need Remembrance Day more than ever, because otherwise, we will have forgotten that some people are not free.

Until then, I remember.

Great Expectations

2008-10-28T10:33:00.003-04:00

In the interest of full disclosure, I cannot take credit for the title of this post: that goes to a patient, Madeleine, and I fully expect that she will be in turn thanking Dickens for the inspiration in her blog.

I, or rather my belly, seems to garner a lot of attention lately. People are generally very nice to pregnant ladies, so I'm finding. In theatre restroom line ups I'm encouraged to use the empty facility set aside for those with special needs (I declined, for the record, choosing solidarity with my stall-challenged sisters...). Sometimes I am offered a seat on a packed bus, leading me to wonder about all the other lugs who sit contentedly in full view of my girth. Doors are held open, people smile at me more... the world loves a pregnant woman.

And why not? I'm glowy, I make you look thin by comparison, I waddle - that's always good for a laugh, and not to overstate my case, but the human race depends on us.

What I can't figure out is why the world wants to bring a happy, round, shiny woman down.

The horror stories! The pain! The tales of squeezing a thing THIS BIG through a space this big! The labours that went on for 63 hours! Only to end in an emergency operation! And the cord was here, and they got me just in time there, and then there was all the blood! And the pain - did I mention the pain??!?! Aaah!

Luckily, I'm not expecting any of that to happen to me. Not just because I'm an obstetrical marvel, or my generous birthing hips, or my heightened pain threshold or any masochistic bent. I'm not expecting any of that because I CHOOSE to not expect it. And frankly I'm sick of being told otherwise.

But I'm not naive. I'm aware of the size of this versus the size of that. I understand well the pain of muscular contractions. It is clear to me that child birth is a process that is typically and deservedly referred to as 'painful'. I appreciate that things often don't go according to plan.

I just choose to plan for it to go perfectly, and will modify my plan as it unfolds. I choose to prepare for it to go well, and will modify along the way as needed. I choose to assume that my experience will be positive until proven otherwise. Is that so wrong?

I'm visualizing. I'm taking a hypnosis for childbirth class (want to join me in November?). I'm listening to ALL your stories and experiences, and filing them under 'ways this can happen'. I'm reading and learning as much as I can. I'm preparing my body with yoga and keeping my pelvic joints moving with chiropractic. I'm doing everything possible to create the outcome I want, and I'm not going to be told that it can't happen.

I always thought it was funny, referring to a pregnant woman as 'expecting', as if exactly what she was expecting was up in the air (puppies? a baby? maybe a dolphin!). But I'm taking it literally, and I'm going to use this expectant time to create my positive expectations.

So the next time you spot a spherical woman looking all jolly (think Santa Claus) in her life-affirming state, think: should I smile and tell her how wonderful she looks? Or should I tell her about my cousin's HORRIBLE CHILDBIRTH EXPERIENCE, just in case she wasn't aware that in 11 weeks she will EXPERIENCE PAIN LIKE NEVER BEFORE, not that she can do anything about it now... ha ha ha....

Weekend!

2008-10-25T20:49:00.000-04:00

I'm sure you all have plans to exercise, stretch and eat healthful, homemade, organic meals all weekend... but take a break this Sunday night!

The fabulous Gavin Creel will be performing at the Diesel Playhouse on Sunday October 26th, at 8:00 PM. Robbie Roth, one of my favourite composer and husbands, will be accompanying him. The Tony Nominated Creel, who has starred in the Broadway production of Thoroughly Modern Millie and played the part of Bert in London's West End production of Mary Poppins, will be performing original material, familiar covers and Broadway tunes! If you've never seen him perform you'll be blown away... he is as charming as he is talented.

So... like this blog, take a break from being all Chiropractic and healthy, and come out for a great evening. Get your tickets now!

Hope to see you all there.

Top Ten

2008-10-22T10:25:00.015-04:00

We all love David Letter.man, right? (Please don't tell me you watch L.eno...) He is funny, Chiropractic is funny, so it was only a matter of time before his writers came up with a top 10 on this subject. Granted, though, it was aired in 1994, and a lot has changed since then. Like now maybe Jon Stew.art is funnier.

Letter.man's Top 10 Signs You've Gone to a Bad Chiropractor

10. When you walk, you make a wacky accordion sound.

9. Keeps saying, "A spine is like a box of chocolates."

8. Repeatedly asks, "You a cop? You sure you aint' no cop?"

7. Over and over, you hear crunching sounds followed by, "Uh-oh."

6. There's a two-drink minimum.

5. At end of session, lies down on the table and says, "My turn!"

4. He was nowhere near Woodstock and yet he's covered with mud.

3. Rushes in late to your appointment still wearing his Burger King uniform.

2. Hints that for an extra $50, he'll "straighten" something else.

1. You're fully clothed and he's naked.

Ha! Ha!
Since I'm a funny gal, I'll counter with a top ten list of my own. Except it won't be as funny.

Dr. Fagen's Top Ten signs you need a Chiropractor

10. You make a crackling sound when you nod yes or no.

9. One of your legs is longer than the other. Seriously, if you find yourself walking in circles, your seamstress has to do more work on the right leg than the left, or you just notice being 'off' - this can indicate pelvic unleveling, a major contributor to back pain.

8. Old people comment that you walk like an old person. Hunched is not flattering on anyone.

7. Your back pain is affecting your social life. When you are not just in pain, but can no longer participate in the things that make life enjoyable - well, you are choosing pain over life. See a chiropractor.

6. You are known as the 'girl with the bad back'. C'mon... there are better ways to get a reputation!

5. Your fashion is dictated by pain.
When your low back demands that you wear orthopedic flats all the time or carry a (gasp) backpack purse, you need a chiropractor.

4. You can't check your blindspot. Drive (carefully!!) to the chiropractor at once!

3. The top shelf of all your closets is wasted space - because you can't raise your arm to reach there. Did you know that chiropractors help shoulders?

2. You've tried everything else! We love a challenge...

1. You are moved to tears by the robax.acet commercials... you really relate to that dancing wooden puppet!

Danke schön, darling, danke schön...

2008-10-13T12:03:00.009-04:00

We shouldn't need fowl to be outwardly appreciative of our blessings. This year I've decided to kill two birds* with one blog; declare my gratitude this Thanksgiving day and produce yet another sincere and moving blog post.

I am thankful for my health. Really, we are all really just a carbon-based bag of bones, our bodies guaranteed to last a lifetime, the caveat being that the definition of 'lifetime' is subject to change without notice. So I'm grateful to be healthy at this moment.

I am also grateful for my experiences with poor health. My biggest challenges have been lower back related, though without having those experiences I may not have found my beloved vocation. My experiences with herniated discs gave me perspective and insight into my patients' suffering, and the ability to truly sympathize with my fellow disc herniators. We are a brave bunch. That said, I am forever grateful to my neurosurgeon, Dr. Tator. I doubt there ever was or will be a more competent or patient surgeon.

I am grateful for the little person inhabiting me. We haven't formally met, but I've got a good feeling about this. What an experience so far.

I am thankful for the internet - really, what did I do without it? So, thank you, Al Gore. I am thankful for my readers - those who read my silly posts regularly and those who pop in from time to time. I'm even thankful to those readers who find me by searching phrases such as "good chiropractor jokes". Hope you find some knee slappers here.

I am grateful for knowledge. As a self-declared (and other-declared) know-it-all, I love knowing stuff. I also love that there is so much that is unknown, unknowable... that some of the the most beautiful things are mysteries - love, the universe, where we come from and where we go when we are done, what really happened to Mikey from the Life cereal commercial. These things cannot be proven, and where there is no proof we are left with possibility. How lovely. I guess then, that I'm grateful for that too: possibility.

Finally, in keeping with the theme of this blog, I'm grateful to be a chiropractor. To have wonderful patients who put their trust and spines in my hands, to work with amazing associates who teach me and treat me, to have found something I love to do so as to never have to 'work' a day in my life... for these things I owe thanks.

*no birds were harmed in the writing of this post.

The Rabbit Died

2008-10-07T09:04:00.003-04:00

Recently I find myself in a family way.

I'm excited to meet the person who is currently residing on the far side of my navel, but in the meantime I'm enjoying playing scientist with my very own body. Really, is there anything more fascinating than one's own self, and more so when every day brings a new sensation, change, discovery, bodily function? I'm creating a pancreas, what are you doing this week?

Being my very own maternal experiment allows me to put my theories and preconceived (ha!) notions to test. Here are some of my scientific results.

Theory: Prenatal Yoga is beneficial
Conclusion: Affirmative! That front hip pain that my pregnant patients always complain about? It is real! Turns out that knowing that the hip flexor muscles tighten due to a forward shift in posture and pressure from the uterus, and experiencing said tightness and pressure - two different things. I'm finding that yoga is very helpful in releasing these muscles. It is also very calming. Oh, and hilarious to watch your friend who is 10 weeks ahead of you try to get into child's pose when her belly is hitting the floor...

Theory: Maternity clothes are for suckers and the unfashionable, just wear low-rise pants and long tops!
Conclusion: Negative. I assumed all the cute little bumps I saw on Eglinton Ave. (seriously, there is a baby boom right outside my clinic) just developed on top of previously toned abdomens. I neglected to take into account the general widening of... everything. If it doesn't have an elasticized waist band, I'm no longer interested. Buffet pants are my new fashion.

Theory: Chiropractic is good for pregnant women.
Conclusion: OH YES. Besides being a drug-free and safe option to treat the myriad of aches and pains that arise during this delicate time, chiropractic can actually make labour smoother. The pelvis is made up of a few parts, parts that work best when they are aligned and freely moveable. When these joints stop moving properly, pain arrives. A pregnant woman's pelvis really relies on the normal movement and alignment of these joints - not only for pain-free walking (waddling), but so that a baby can, you know, travel through said pelvis en route to the world. A fixated pelvis is not conducive to a smooth and easy labour.

Theory: Natural childbirth is possible!

Conclusion: Ask me sometime in January. Like every health care decision, this too is a choice, and like every health care decision, a not always controllable one. I hope that with my midwife, my hypnotherapy CDs, my loving and supportive husband and my faith in the power of the female body to manage this feat, that the birth of this baby will be gentle, pain-free and lightning fast. I also hope that the USA will elect the right president, that the Middle East will find peace, and that my favourite jeans will fit the day after the baby is born.

Theory: Pregnant women deserve to be pampered.

Conclusion: YES YES YES. First of all, hearing over and over that 'life as you know it is over' is getting tiresome, if not a little frightening. Prenatal massage turns out to be a wonderful antidote, relaxing my aching joints and giving me an hour of 'me time', something I'm told will be in short supply very soon. Reflexology and Reiki are positively wonderful, sending me off... elsewhere. I emerge relaxed, and it lasts for days. Acupuncture has been a wonderful tool as well, especially in those nauseating first few months. These treatments are all safe during pregnancy when done by qualified practitioners who understand the necessary precautions when treating expecting ladies.

I'm told over and over by grinning (smirking?) moms that EVERYTHING will change... and honestly, I can't wait.

So far all that has changed is my figure.

Here Wii Go Again...

2008-10-02T08:41:00.000-04:00

I'm generally not one to say 'I told you so', and I can admit when I'm wrong.

I tried the Wii.Fit the other day, after having decried its value as a fitness aid. Don't get me wrong, I judged it accurately - I stand by my uninformed and strongly biased opinions - I just judged it early. Call me Judy, I don't care, I judge things.

But woo-hoo, is that thing fun!

It offers yoga, strength training, aerobics and balance games. Wow... just like a gym! What a concept.

I tried out some balance games, watched my husband attempt to pummel a cyber-opponent in boxing, and then I played with a virtual hula hoop. Oh the fun wii had!

But here comes my rant. Despite my cousin's insistence that she 'really works up a sweat' doing this, I just don't see how this is an ideal form of exercise. Sure I was working on my balance, but I'd be better using a wobble board with weights or walking on uneven terrain. The boxing was lame, hitting a virtual opponent has none of the resistance or satisfaction of hitting a real live person. Plus, uh, a thing called form? Simply punching the air at the right time to make the 'pow' noise does not a boxer make. Do yourself a favour - go see my friend Jon, he'll learn you to box. And hula hoop? While it is funny to watch my 60-year-old uncle do this (funny strange...), well, show me the hard-body who will claim that hula hooping made them that way.

Granted I didn't try all the 'sports' available, but I still maintain that standing on a pad, inside, eyes glued to a screen and imitating the moves one might make while actually playing a sport does not equal, well, playing the sport. And supervision and form matter too, you know. I tried some yoga poses, and the only 'advice' my Wii Yogi had was to keep my centre of gravity in a certain spot. It hurt, I was nowhere close to approaching Zen, and no one said 'namaste' when it was done. That's not yoga to me. Want to do yoga? Join one of Jen's classes. Guaranteed enlightenment and no USB cable needed!

I may need to try it out again though, you know, in the interest of providing my readers with a fair and balanced assessment... but so far I maintain that while Wii.Fit might be 'convenient', it might be easy, it might be fun... it is not fitness.

So as usual, I am right and I told you so.

Pathos

2008-09-29T10:48:00.010-04:00

-pathy
Feeling; suffering; perception
a) disease: neuropathy
b) a system of treating disease: homeopathy

I wonder why I am a chiropractor, instead of a chiropath? (or a Broadway star for that matter - I always pictured my name in lights...). Why do I practice chiropractic, not chiropathy? Words are great.

Before being admitted entrance into chiropractic college, one must fill out many forms, write some essays, and participate in an interview process where we are asked such revealing questions as: "why do you want to be a chiropractor?" and "give an example of leadership in your past". I guess my proctors were impressed by my Machiavellian rise to the top of the water sport hierarchy at summer camp, running the greatest windsurfing and sailing program ever, and then moved by the disc herniations that would arise while windsurfing in a tragic twist of fate...

I digress. The most challenging question, one that still haunts me to this day, was "explain the difference between empathy and sympathy". See, sometimes when I've confused two things, the mis-association becomes permanently fixed in my brain, so that they are forever neurologically cross-linked. For example, I will never remember if my mother's birthday is on the 17th or the 18th. I've taken to celebrating both days, just in case. Empathy and sympathy - I've spent so long debating the subtle differences between these and getting them mixed up and losing bets with my associates when we remembered this damn interview question, that I've given up. If a situation may call for empathy or sympathy, I'll just give you both. General -pathy all around. I'm pathetic.

Empathy: the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another. In other words... I have not experienced your pain, but I can try to understand it and relate to it by drawing on other experiences I may have had.

Sympathy: harmony of or agreement in feeling. The harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions. The fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, especially in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration. In other words... I know what you are feeling, I feel it too.

What does this have to do with getting into chiropractic college? The answer is: I don't know. I suppose they are screening for future chiropractors who will understand the importance of feeling for their patients, even if they can't feel with them. To be honest, the question seems to me to be an ineffective screening tool to ultimately find a caring doc.

So it turns out that it is rare for me to truly sympathize with a patient. I have not experienced what they are experiencing. I do not share their feelings, and I have not felt their pain. I have a particular softness for patients experiencing lumbar disc herniations, since I've had some myself and can really understand the pain and frustration, but overall, sympathy is in short supply here. What I can do is empathize. I can imagine your pain. I can live vicariously through you to understand your pain. This is harder - to not understand your feelings, but to respect them nonetheless.

Oh. I may have just finally gotten it.

Get off your buttitis

2008-09-21T19:07:00.002-04:00

Please read this article, about a terrifying new condition, Wiitis.

Are you aghast?

Let's talk about inflammation, all things -itis, shall we? Then let's talk about video games and how they are a symptom of the general decline of civilization as I see it.

-itis is my most favourite suffex. It means 'inflammation of', and knowing this renders many a confounding sounding medical condition clear. Arthritis sounds less intimidating when you realize it is just some inflammation in a joint. Bronchitis? Appendicitis? Bursitis? All just 'inflammation of'! How simple medicine is! I should have been a 'real doctor'!

As a chiropractor, much of what I see is inflammation dependent. Went golfing for the first time and now can't pick up a pickle jar? (you'd be surprised how often I see the positive pickle jar sign...) You probably have lateral epicondylitis, commonly called tennis elbow. Designated the pitcher in your over 40 baseball league, and now it hurts to move your arm? You might just have medial epicondylitis, golfer's elbow. Interesting fact - golfers, tennis players and pitchers rarely contract the sports-appropriate condition, leaving me to wonder about the sports medicine docs who nicknamed these injuries. It actually doesn't matter which sport you participate in, what is relevant is the 'inflammation of' part.

But Wiiitis? Please. This bothers me on a few levels. As a chiropractor, I like my diagnoses to lead to a treatment plan. I know what to treat with rotator cuff tendonitis. I don't know what to treat with Wiiitis. Your Wii? I'm not that kind of doctor. As a human being, I find this a bit pathetic! You... uh, injured yourself, playing a video game? I may have to prescribe a walk in a park. Or a visit to a museum. Or a conversation. With another human. PUT DOWN THE JOYSTICK!

Do people even use joysticks anymore? I understand there is some sort of program that you use with this gaming system to get 'fit'. I guess the intention is good... it just seems so creepy to me. What happened to playing sports? Fresh air? Listening to music or the pounding of your heart?

I say, if you are going to injure yourself, do it while doing something worthwhile. I love treating athletes - their injuries are real, they are motivated to get better, and they typically respond quickly by virtue of being in such good shape to begin with. But video game sporting injuries seem to be a whole new phenomena, one I'm not sure I'm ready for.

So go ahead, do what it takes to get you motivated and moving... but unless you go pro, don't ask me to treat your Wiiitis.

Lady Doctor

2008-09-13T14:51:00.001-04:00

I guess I've always been a feminist.

I'm certainly all for women. One of my earliest and fondest wardrobe memories is a t-shirt that claimed "anything boys can do, girls can do better" (ok, fine... even earlier and fonder was the cowgirl outfit with real tassels - yee haw!*). But my general genderal pride was likely just my competitive streak - it never really occurred to me that being female was a hindrance in any way. I could do anything a boy could do - and better - and dress up all country pretty to boot. I am woman, hear me roar.

My great-grandmother lived to be just shy of 100 years old, though she adamantly claimed to have already reached that milestone, her logic getting lost somewhere in the fact that she was IN her 100th year**. Whatever, when you are that old you can claim to be whatever you want, as far as I am concerned. When I'm 99 I plan on calling myself the Vice President of the United States - why not! The age-old confusion aside, my great-grandmother remained lucid and sharp her whole life. Sure she occasionally called me Charlotte and wondered how my pharmacy was doing, but the point is she was proud of both of us - Charlotte the Pharmacist and Michelle the Chiropractor. She would parade me around the nursing home, introducing me to everyone who would (or could) listen as her granddaughter, the 'Lady Doctor'. And not as in 'gynecologist' - this was not a third identity for me and Charlotte... I was Michelle Fagen, L.D. Not just any doctor... but a Lady Doctor. Now THAT is feminism.

Feminism has been on my mind a lot lately, what with Sarah Palin entering the political arena. She is a creepy sort of faux-feminist, a femin-ish if you will. On the one hand, hooray for potentially bringing a woman into the White House! On the other hand, is she really a feminist candidate when her policies seek to limit choice for women? Are you a feminist just by virtue of being feminine? Maybe I could tolerate her more if she stopped touting 'hockey mom' as a credential? And can she quit making that horrible joke about the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull being lipstick? Sure, in theory she represents progress for women... but when your supporters wear 'Hoosiers for the Hot Chick' and 'From The Coldest State Comes The Hottest V.P.' pins, well... one step forward, two steps back.

I'm not sure that this is the Lady Vice President we want. I look forward to witnessing a woman in the White House, because I want to see history made; because I think a woman can bring a unique approach to leadership that that country has not seen; because it shouldn't have taken this long; because we deserve to be represented; because why not? But I am more interested in witnessing a collective mentality that doesn't get so excited about the prospect of a woman in power at the expense of the appropriate woman in power. Be careful what you ask for, right sisters? Let's instead aim to hire the best person (male or female) for the job (chiropractor, pharmacist or vice president), but still be able to appreciate the unique qualities inherent in that person by nature of their gender.

I look forward to that time when working Ladies everywhere can wear lipstick (or not), and not need to compare themselves to a dog to prove that they mean business.

In the meantime, I'm still proud to be a Lady Doctor!

* ok - tell me the truth. I look like a young republican in this photo - no?

**I don't know that she was truly a 'feminist', but she was feisty, self-assured and intelligent, and dated more than any other woman in the nursing home. An inspiration to ladies everywhere.

Gobama!

2008-09-07T22:16:00.001-04:00

I'm not very political by nature.

But my television seems to be broken, the channel stuck on CNN. Lately, chez moi, it is all politics, all the time. Due to this reluctant reprieve from 'The Learning Channel' (what? Home renos, wedding dresses, disciplining obnoxious children, medical miracles, 'What Not To Wear' - what more do you need?) I've been forced to watch... politics. Gah. American politics. Blargh. And I'm dumber and more disillusioned for it. I was better off watching 'Jon and Kate plus 8'.

Thanks to my new roommates Anderson and Wolf, I've had opportunity and cause to formulate opinions, opinions that would be more useful were I an American, and could actually, you know, vote in the upcoming election. But my stat counter tells me that sometimes Yankee foreigners visit my humble blog and read my humble thoughts. Readers who by nature of geography and keyword searches are interested in both the USA and chiropractic (except for the guy who found me by searching 'mistress boxing gloves' - I don't know what to say to that) and it got me thinking... hey, I have opinions, and readers who can vote in this election... I could influence their vote! My very own manifest destiny.

So. Vote Obama!

Because... because this chiropractor says so. Because he just makes you feel good, you know?

My chiropractic predecessor and mentor advised me that there are three topics to avoid with patients: sex, religion and politics. I'm not sure what that leaves worth talking about, so at the risk of offending but in the interest of free speech... Americans, I hope your country elects Obama. It seems that what they are doing down there now isn't working... preaching abstinence to pregnant teens, an ongoing war forever on the verge of victory, a country slipping downward... isn't that the meaning of insanity, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

But these are heavy topics for a simple chiropractor to address. Perhaps I should steer clear of discussions of human rights and the definition of a marriage, and wars and gun control and oil - perhaps I should stick with things within my scope of practice... chiropractic.

Guess who supports chiropractic? Barack Obama! Read the letter below. Obama supports Chiropractic - how wonderful! Leave the messy politicking behind, and vote with your spine!

Gobama!

Dr. Who?

2008-09-01T14:53:00.005-04:00

It is both significant and silly, all the hullabaloo around what we call ourselves. A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet, right? Is Michelle not as capable of healing your sore back as is Dr. Fagen? (Personally, I wouldn't trust Dr. Michelle... but that's just me) Yet, it does matter.

I was recently made acutely aware of the significance of a name and designation. I attended a wedding sans Husband. I had trouble finding my place card, because as it turned out Dr. Michelle Fagen wasn't actually at the wedding, but Mrs. Husband's Full Name was. I was confused by my emotions - I am proud to be Mrs. Composer Extraordinaire, but I wondered exactly when I had lost not only my first and last names, but my professional designation? Who exactly was supposed to be seated at table 16? And had she ordered the chicken or the beef entree?

And while we are talking names and designations, I must confess, I have a chiropractic pet peeve.

I mean no offense to my colleagues, but I cringe a little when I hear one of my cohorts refer to himself as 'Dr. First Name'. You know who they are, the Dr. Lisas, the Dr. Steves, the awkward Dr. James-eses. It is so reminiscent of the Simpson's Dr. Nick ("Hi Everybody!", "Hi Dr. Nick!"). I suppose I can afford some leeway to those chiros with long and difficult to pronounce last names, or the docs who treat children who might be less intimidated by Dr. Dave than Dr. Backbraeker. But... I dunno.

It just rings creepy to me. In a nice way, of course. But also in a creepy way. Think Dr. Phil. 'Nuff said.

When I first graduated as a green, wet behind the ears, fresh faced eager young chiropractor, I felt like a bit of a fraud just calling myself Doctor. Little me? A doctor? Certainly it gave my family cause to giggle "pass the potatoes, DOCTOR Fagen, hee hee!", but I also learned that it had its benefits - speaking to customer service reps for example. "This is Dr. Fagen calling. I recieved my magic bullet after waiting 5 weeks, only to have it break after just one smoothie. This is unacceptable, and I demand recompense. No, I won't hold, I've got patients to treat!"

I've realized since that some people want to address me as Doctor. The formality of the title gives them confidence and the professional distance provides a forum where they can feel comfortable receiving care as a patient. Other patients see me as a health care partner, as someone they can relate to, and we address each other as Michelle and Patient.

Ultimately, I've decided that I don't care what you call me... as long as you call me!

Just don't call me Dr. Michelle.

Alternative Universe

2008-08-13T10:47:00.002-04:00

I hate the term 'alternative medicine'.

I hate that it is used freely to describe chiropractic, iridology, acupuncture, homeopathy, yoga, and prayer, among others. Without passing judgment, these things are simply not equivalent, in terms of history, licensing requirements, efficacy as determined by research, general acceptance, and well... they are all just different! The only commonality is that they are NOT conventional medicine. And the connotation is of a binary system, an either/or of health care where choosing the 'alternative' precludes the conventional. This myopic thinking is insulting and, frankly, unhealthful.

Don't get me wrong - I am a big fan of modern medicine. You may remember me from "The Bride with the Herniated Discs: A young woman's drug-induced limp down the aisle", and its sequel "The Chiropractor and the Neurosurgeon - Doctors in Love". Of course, who could forget the great laminectomy and discectomy of '05, and I know I'll always remember Amoxicillin vs. Sinusitis in '98... the last year they ever battled in this venue. Amoxicillin won.

But I resent the implication that because one opts to take Vitamin A instead of a flu shot, or labours with a midwife instead of an obstetrician, that they eschew conventional medicine. I maintain, rather, that we are fortunate to be able to choose the most appropriate care and care provider at a particular time and for a particular condition. I believe that our varied health care needs are best met by a roster of qualified and compassionate care providers.

A much more palatable term is complementary medicine, since it is inclusive rather than exclusive. It allows that single disciplines cannot by nature address all health concerns, and that there are options such as chiropractic and acupuncture (and naturopathy and traditional chinese medicine and...) that can pick up where conventional medicine ends or may be undesirable. A back pain sufferer may be prescribed anti-inflammatories by a general practitioner and treated mechanically by their chiropractor. A person with colitis may have investigations and medications as prescribed by their gastroenterologist and still benefit from nutritional therapy and acupuncture. It is OK, if not preferential, to use more than one treatment modality at a time - especially when they complement each other.

With approximately 75% of people using 'alternative' medicine at some point in their lives, it doesn't seem so alternative, does it?

...summer vacation, part final: roaming in rome.

2008-08-08T08:30:00.019-04:00

... so we arrived in Rome. They say that Rome wasn't built in a day, but I say they just weren't trying hard enough. "pfft..." I spat, "I'll prove 'em wrong and do it in half a day!" First stop, the Flavian Amphitheatre, known these days as the Colosseum (I also shop at Towne and Country mall, it will never be Centerpoint to me...). I was excited to be standing in the midst of such history - the movie Gladiator was filmed right here! It truly makes you reflect on your existence at this time and place in the universe. I was also fortunate enough to spot a real, live Roman gladiator - smoking. How anachronistic! Maybe this is why the Roman Empire was wiped out?

After the Colosseum, which frankly could use some maintenance and repair, we trekked to the Trevi Fountain. I love this site, mostly because of the fountains at which you can refill your water bottle and rinse your hands and feet of the roman grime they've acquired. Ancient cities and heat don't exactly go well together... we nearly melted. For some respite from the heat we patronized and were patronized at a cafe near the Trevi Fountain. As you can imagine, visiting a restaurant near a major tourist attraction is always an economical choice, and we thoroughly enjoyed the $20 glass of beer and bottle of water. Mamma mia!

After conferring with my accountant it became obvious it was time to leave Italy. And so ended my European vacation. Funny how this trip once seemed eons away, yet the two week trip itself felt equally as long. I'm returned to Toronto more brown, more cultured (I now only eat gelato, not ice cream) and in need of an adjustment!

Arrivederci!

...summer vacation, part two: mambo italiano

2008-08-06T08:36:00.001-04:00

The next day was a blur of Italian. After being ripped off at dinner in Rome and then ripped off again in a taxi in Naples (number one taxi driver, my a@@!), I boarded a ferry for the island of Ischia tightly clutching what was left of my Euros, desperate for some intense relaxation. I have to comment here on the general civility of Europeans, despite their numerous and successful attempts to separate me from my money. They are somehow simultaneously crazy and calm - there appears to be a method in the madness, a serenity in the chaos. I've often witnessed my fellow North Americans yell at each other while standing in our perfect line-ups, but in Europe they just coagulate into a mass of wildly gesticulating but content people, each not noticing the other cutting in front of them - nessun problema! Drivers swerve in and out of traffic (who needs lanes?), narrowly avoiding scooters and pedestrians - no hard feelings! A woman on the train takes your seat, a man drags his luggage down the aisle cuffing each person on the way... va bene! They demonstrate a practiced sense of patience, those crazy, crazy Europeans... I think of all the lessons to be learned from them, patience is at the top of the list. That, and prosciutto.

I finally arrived on the island of Ischia, which offers many activities, my favourites being eating, sunbathing, swimming and scrabble. I must now use this forum to apologize, sort of, to my scrabble opponent, a know-it-all wordsmith who annoyingly pointed out an error in my last post when I was without internet access and unable to correct it for a WEEK... nary an error escapes his exacting eye. How annoying are people like that? However, I strive for truth and can admit my mistakes. For example, it turns out that flecky is a word; you must be so proud.

What else can I say about Ischia? It was belissimo, magnifico, molto meraviglioso. In fact, if I ever disappear from Toronto - check there. I noticed a distinct lack of chiropractors, and the hills alone could break anyone's back... nah, I could never leave T.O., would never, ever leave you, my dear friends and patients. I'll just start a satellite clinic... ;)

After 5 days spent on the island indulging in pasta, pizza, prosciutto and gelato, it was time awaken from my carbohydrate stupor and move on... back to Rome!

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

2008-08-03T23:54:00.015-04:00

Part One: first class and no class

My travels started out on a high note - a fortunate series of events led me to the front of the plane, to the previously elusive and exclusive executive class seating. Though I am not an executive, it turns out that by merely giving the airline a significant amount of money, all of your and your husband's air miles, your most convincing pouty face followed by your winningest smile, well you too can be seated (or laid down, as it were) in the front of the plane! Actually, I spent most of the time as horizontal as possible - and this was possible, given the fabulous contraption that is the pod. I can only hope that as much engineering detail was put into the engine. Suffice it to say that I have had a taste of the good life - comfortable seats, great food and service, clean facilities... I was likely the only one disappointed when the pilot announced that due to a tail wind we would arrive in London 45 minutes early. I wanted to get my money's worth... and after security pried me kicking and screaming from my pod, I truly felt that I had.

The euphoria was short-lived when I disembarked the plane and then embarked a train, albeit as a regular passenger, en route to Plymouth. This turned out to be a perfectly lovely-ish town, site of the world premiere of Flashdance the Musical!

I'm torn here. I want to sum up the show for you, to tell you about the jaw-dropping choreography, the iconic scenes from the movie come to life, the moving performances (I laughed! I cried!), the unbelievable score... but this blog pretends to have something to do with chiropractic, so I'll talk about how this humble chiropractor saved the show.

A few hours before opening night, one of the actors hurt his neck during a run through. I happened to be sitting in the theatre and overheard a debate over what to do (ice!! when in doubt, put ICE on a fresh injury!!) - and I couldn't help but offer my services (is there a chiropractor in the house?). The actor had pinched a joint in his neck, an injury I see all the time in my patients. The only difference is that when you come in unable to move your head, you aren't usually due to be breakdancing on stage in 3 hours. We massaged and iced and gently moved the joint, and the show went on... as it must, I suppose. You couldn't tell he was sore at all, and I like to think this had as much to do with him being a great actor as me being a great chiropractor. Do they give a Tony for best adjustment in a musical? Flashdance was a huge success, and I was honoured to make my small contribution to this amazing production.

Soon it was time to leave Plymouth, to race to Stansted Airport to discover the haluciousness that is Ryan.air (I'm sensing that 'halucious' isn't technically a word... but trust me, it is the only one that accurately describes Ryan.air). Discount prices but a charge for every little thing (luggage $64, check in $16, bringing along a guitar $100, life jacket $45...), pandemonium at the check-in counter, no seating assignments, advertisements on the overhead luggage compartment, lotto ticket sales during the flight, sexy pictures of the airline attendants in the Ryan.air magazine, tiny seats cramped together, all taking place amid a sickly yellow and orange colour scheme! Halucious! But we made it alive and on time (the timely arrival is celebrated by a gaudy horn arrangement over the loudspeaker... 'do do doo doooo doo do! Another Ryanair flight has landed on time!' I was more amazed that we landed at all...) in Rome!

Thus began my week long gelato diet...

Take your passion... and make it happen!!

2008-07-22T07:01:00.003-04:00

Nearly a month ago I pulled into Heathrow Airport, but there I go again. Really it is the exceptional value of the pound drawring [sic] me to England - 1 for 2 on everything you buy! But you can't control where duty sends you, and I've got business to attend to in Plymouth, an English seaside town mostly destroyed in the war. My sources tell me the locals enjoy drinking, brawling, and 80s music.

While in Plymouth I will be attending the world premiere of Flashdance the Musical! I know my jocular voice makes it hard to know when I'm being silly or serious, but there is nothing funny about the 80s. Welder by day, dancer by night... a theatrical piece examining the desire, nay the need to dance juxtaposed against the turning economy of Pittsburgh in the 80s... all choreographed and on stage to enjoy. I've got a 'thing' for the composer and I've never been more excited to see anything in my life. It is best captured in the grammatically horrifying yet strangely evocative and satisfying sentence, "Bein's Believin'", people. I've got rhythm now.

After Flashdance, it is off to... an undisclosed location. The composer I will be escorting does not know where we are going, and it is better that way. I can only say that we will be taking planes, trains, automobiles and ferries, and maybe even a scooter, if I'm lucky.

As usual in my absence Dr. Bain will be treating my patients, and as usual you are in excellent hands. Otherwise I'll be back after the August long weekend - leaving my crazy European escapades behind and getting back to normal life and business as usual.

Goodbye for now!

Hump Day

2008-07-16T21:21:00.019-04:00

Patients often ask me what I do on Wednesdays. They are really curious - "you don't work on Wednesdays? What do you DO all day?" This makes me laugh - why, more chiropractic-y things, of course! Tuesday nights after work I read chiropractic journals before bed (I put a heat pack on and go to sleep on a chiropractic table!), and wake up super early to spend the day adjusting friends and family! Of course sometimes I go really crazy and attend a chiropractic seminar, or spend a lazy day reading old chiropractic text books...

What did you think? What do YOU all do when you are not in my office?

Here's the truth: a day-off in the life of a chiropractor (today!).
Sleep in! Three days a week I see patients at 7:30 AM (I know, some of you didn't KNOW there was an AM version of 7:30...), so I enjoy this. Then it is off to work-out - check out previous posts if you haven't seen the videos. My sister-in-law has been joining me and it is a blast to watch a newbie discover the joys of hitting things. My rushed breakfast of a half-avocado and organic spelt ginger snaps (uh, maybe we need a post on nutrition soon?) leaves me hungry... so I grab a seat on a patio and enjoy a rye bagel and lox - YUM. I do some banking and consider closing a safe deposit box (help. Is it SAFETY deposit box, or SAFE deposit box? The latter seems to make more grammatical sense, right?). I decide to keep the safe(ty) deposit box for now, you know, in case I need to store large sums of foreign currency or passports. (I just watched the Bourne Identity, indulge me.) Off to the health food store for some brown rice and other healthy stuff, but I'm interrupted by a phone call regarding a somewhat urgent, non-chiropractic matter (all will be fine, but let's just say that if I had a fan, uh, some stuff would have hit it). Head home, do some bills and paperwork, deal with an electrician and a painter, get annoyed with bills and paperwork, head to Cost.co.

This warrants its own paragraph. I love Cost.co - massive quantities of everything you may or may not need, in one convenient warehouse! Here I purchase clinic necessities - toilet paper, paper towels, computer paper... when you come for your treatment, you sort of assume these sundries will be here, and hey - do you you think paper goods just grow on trees? No, your chiropractor spends her day off at Cost.co hunting and foraging the aisles for you. Somewhere near the food section I grow dangerously dehydrated, and pray to the Cost.co gods for a sample lady dispensing tiny cups of lemonade. Instead she offers tortilla chips and salsa, and in my dehydrated state I ration that 'salsa is wet'... tip for my readers, salsa is not a thirst quencher. On Wednesdays I evidently leave my brain at the office. And yes, I remember to stock up on Werthers. My dear, dear patients, you are obsessed with the Werthers jar, don't think I haven't noticed. Many a RHCC meeting has addressed these delicious caramel treats, since they consume 78% of our operating budget and are not exactly healthy - and yet I don't dare remove them, seeing as how you panic when the jar approaches half-empty (or half-full - ha!). So I pick up the 25 bag weekly supply of Werthers. And for myself? A school of salmon, a few buckets of dijon mustard and wheel of cheese. You asked! One other thing I noticed at Cost.co - do they sell babies there? I couldn't find the display, but every other cart had a baby in it, and I figured I may as well pick one up if the price was right... but then realized that being Cost.co, they would probably come in packs of 8, and my storage space is full of jars of dijon mustard and toilet paper.

Then with little day of my day off left, I head home to water the garden and mentally write this post. I catch up on some emails, deal with the bills I had abandoned and attempt to make a healthy dinner. Spend a few more hours alternately cleaning around the house, debating watching a movie and surfing the internet... and here we are.

Are you sorry you asked what I do? Did you imagine the free time of a chiropractor to be more exciting?

Or... maybe this is all a ruse to distract you, and beneath my mild mannered appearance I'm really a former assassin running from the government (think about it, I am referred to by more than one surname, I head to Europe quite frequently lately, and my martial arts training has made me a formidable foe... sorry, that movie really was great!). Or perhaps on Wednesdays I shed my business casual attire for a size small (fine, medium depending on the cut) superhero suit, solving mysteries in the Forest Hill area. Since I'm quite the raconteur, maybe I just sit at home and write adventure/romance novels under my nom de plume, Daisy Yohang.

Or maybe I'll just keep you guessing!

What do YOU do when you are not at the clinic?

The long and wordy road...

2008-07-14T10:08:00.001-04:00

The words we use are important.

Consider two patients. One tells me that she is in agony. The other says that there is a lot pain on the right side of her neck. They might have the same symptoms and findings, but the first is a victim, owned by the pain and without control, the second is observing her own pain, limiting it to the site in question. I wonder who heals faster???

I had a thought recently - that in a way, all that we sense is all that there is... (and all that we think/dream/love is all that can be? Indulge me - I was stuck on an airplane with a lot of time to think...) It seems to me that perception IS all there is. Though we all have different views and perceptive abilities, how one perceives their world is effectually how it is. So if you choose to perceive a situation as negative or painful, then so it will be. But what if, you may ask, a situation is inherently negative or painful - like a tragic accident or natural disaster? Well I still maintain that we have control - to choose to perceive ourselves as either a victim or a survivor.

We control our own worlds - with the decisions we make, by the reactions we offer, the words we use - our communication is our output in the world. The brain hears what the mouth says, the mind believes it (after all, who is more convincing than our own selves?) A book I'm reading offered this: "a word is a word is a sound in the air..." and I was taken enough by these seemingly silly words to jot them down. How amazing... words are just puffs of air - but minuscule air currents can create a butterfly effect. Are you in agony or discomfort? Do you hate someone or dislike them? Is it impossible or challenging? The words we choose matter. If we can chose less hurtful words, for ourselves, for others, for the universe... then I believe in doing so. "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" - this is not true, and we do a disservice to children by teaching them so. Words do hurt... words matter.

A pregnant friend of mine took a hypno-birthing class, where they don't describe contractions and pain, but refer to pressure and discomfort. How amazing. Can changing the way we anticipate and perceive the 'pain' of childbirth change the experience? We are conditioned to believe that childbirth is excruciating - and while I don't propose that with the right attitude it will be pleasant, I just can't see the benefit in reaffirming negative perceptions before even having had the chance to perceive or experience them. Will referring to labour as 'pressure' versus 'agony' make it less painful? I dunno... but it can't hurt, right? (or at least they say you'll forget it soon after, right???)

Consider the patient with the 'bad back'. As a chiropractor, this might be the most difficult condition to fix - I simply do not have the tools. I know how to restore motion to fixated segments and how to reduce inflammation in a facet joint and how to help you improve your posture and how to strengthen weak muscles... I can even alleviate your back pain and correct the cause of your problem - but if you are going to resign yourself to having a 'bad back', then you've already set yourself up for failure. Words matter.

In my own life, I'm making a conscious effort to select my words carefully, to choose the more positive and less hurtful way of communicating what I mean. I've even signed up for a 'word of the day' email, hoping that a larger vocabulary will provide me with more ways to describe, communicate and therefore create the world I want to live in. A recent word I received and am trying to grasp the meaning of is "laconic - using few words; expressing much in few words; concise".

Got it. Words matter. End post.

That's it... back to Winnipeg!

2008-07-09T12:40:00.005-04:00

Ah summer... season of ice cream, surreptitious hotel swimming pool excursions and road trips! Since you already know how I feel about ice cream (new favourite flavour: sour cream cardamom - trust me) and I failed to successfully infiltrate the pool at the Four Seasons, BUT I have successfully driven from Toronto to Vancouver and earned my Doctor of Chiropractic (separate events), I'll stick to subjects on which I am licensed to counsel... driving and how to safely do so, particularly spinally.

Pack the car! Sure, you can pack essentials such as flares and a spare gas cannister blah blah blah, but let's be practical. Music is paramount, and as I learned after 87 hours of prairie driving, you never know which tune will strike the right chord - Guilty by Babs Streisand and Barry Gibb? J.T. bringing SexyBack? Total Eclipse of the Heart? You just don't know, so be prepared. Oh, and though your iPod can easily hold 80 gigs, your back may not; putting your back out before you've even backed out of the driveway is not a good start. When loading the car, bend with your knees, use your core when lifting and ask for help! No point in ruining a vacation before it even starts.
Speaking of before it starts... did you receive your pre-trip adjustment? Plan for this - especially if you've been having 'twinges' lately. I can't tell you how often a distressed patient says to me "this happened last week and now I can't walk ... and we are going out of town in TWO DAYS!!" (No really, I can't tell you how often - it would violate patient confidentiality.) Get adjusted a day or two before you leave, and while you are at it, book a post-trip treatment too. Do you have everything you need? Though you can likely pick up whatever you need en route unless you are road tripping through Borneo, it is still wise to bring a back 'first aid kit', especially if you are prone to flare-ups. Throw an ice pack into the cooler with your Cristal, and bring Advil or your pain killer/anti-inflammatory of choice to have for emergencies. Remember your orthopedic pillow and shoe orthotics, and whatever else gets your back through the day.
Hit the road! Gentle low back and leg stretches before you head into cottage-bound traffic are a smart idea. Wear comfortable clothes for the drive so that you can easily stretch on your breaks, and like the sign on the roadside diner, 'no shirt, no shoes, no service' applies. Good, comfortable shoes are important for, uh, comfort, and to prevent accidents, and shirts... well, topless only refers to convertibles.
Now that we have covered the thoracic region, we must discuss the lumbar spine and proper sitting. Fancy cars (like my old '96 Pontiac Sunfire) have a lumbar support - pump this up to your comfort. In lieu of an internal lumbar support, a lumbar roll or ObusForme back support is best. In a pinch, put a t-shirt or small pillow behind your low back. The point is to encourage and maintain the curve in the small of your back. Unfortunately without some support, driving causes the low back to unwind into a C-shape, and allows the hamstrings to shorten.
So... stretch those hamstrings! It is not always possible to stop the car when you want to, and trust me, you don't want to be sorry for not making a pit stop when you had the chance! Plan ahead to take a break before you absolutely need to, for restroom and back spasm reasons both. Take these opportunities to stretch your legs literally. This should be repeated at each stop, and again at the end of the day. Also, try eating a salad instead of another burger.
After a long day of driving, check into your luxury motel and try not to think of those investigative TV programs that use a fluorescent light to reveal all the 'mystery stains' on the bedding and carpet. Don't be afraid to ask the front desk if any of the rooms have a newer mattress and let them know if yours is particularly lumpy or sinky... or consider splurging for a decent hotel, cheapskate! Take time to lay out on a towel or yoga mat (or the carpet if you dare!) and properly stretch out your low back and legs. Try to relax and get some sleep so you are safe on the road for the next day, and consider bringing your own orthopedic pillow for proper neck support and/or germ prevention.

Drive safely, remember to call your mother when you arrive, and enjoy yourself! And if your back should fail you, remember to stretch gently, apply ice for 15 minutes at a time and give up the wheel for a bit while someone else drives. Don't be shy to look up a local chiropractor - we are everywhere! Finally, please enjoy the following road trip video...

...posted because although it is embarrassing to me, it is hopefully more embarrassing to my sister (if you thought this was bad, ask to see the Total Eclipse of the Heart video... painful). Note also: driving with your leg on the dashboard should be discouraged for the negative effects on the lumbar spine and the danger of losing said leg should your sister drive into a ditch.
Fittingly, it turns out the correct words are: "it oughta be illegal".

Who knew?

Virtuous

2008-07-07T11:59:00.009-04:00

A patient gave me a dandelion. And sadly, I killed it. Then she gave me another, and I ignored it. And it is thriving! I'm not sure what the lesson is here.

Before you go thinking I am a bad gardener, let me assure you that I am a horrible gardener. Who inadvertently kills a dandelion? But this plant is unique - not your typical dandelion. In fact, when I tried to do some research I could find nothing like it. I'll take my patient's word that it is indeed a dandelion, though it certainly doesn't look like any I've ever seen. This dandelion is one of a kind.

It got me thinking though, about what separates a weed from a flower. Emerson asked and then responded, "What is a weed? A flower whose virtues have never been discovered."

Well I discovered something spectacular about my dandelion. Every now and then, as it pleases, it blooms a beautiful but simple yellow flower.

At night.

For one night only.

In fact some nights I miss the late show, and only discover it in the morning doing the botanical walk-of-shame, spent from a night out doing god-knows-what with god-knows-whom. (No really - these randy-dandys must know that their nocturnal behaviour will only attract such unsavory pollinators as moths... or bats... eek. Not in MY backyard!)

Then this late bloomer shrivels up and dies.

Surely there is a lesson in this. Something about beauty fading? Or all good things coming to an end? Appreciating what you've got while you've got it? Enjoying the moment? Seize the day? A good deed is its own reward? Finding beauty where you least expect it?

Perhaps I'm reading too much into it. Maybe there is no lesson, and it is what it is - just a bunch of stuff that happens, an unpopular flowering weed that sometimes blooms at night.

But for what it is worth, it makes me happy. As Ella Wheeler Wilcox said 'a weed is but an unloved flower'. No weeds here!

How to protect your low back/sanity when stuffed into a coach seat

2008-06-30T16:45:00.008-04:00

Is it just me, or is travel becoming more undignified these days? Sky-high prices, mile-long lines, practically disrobing to pass through security, only to be stuffed, sardine-like, into tiny little seats for hours on end. Your surly attendant offers you a gastronomical Sophie's choice - gelatinous chicken, or fish pie? FISH. PIE. Two words never meant to be uttered together.

These days I fly on points, and a wing and a prayer. Yet I some how still ending up paying exorbitant fees in addition to surrendering all my points, and pray not just to arrive alive, but to be seated next to someone compact, quiet and... how does one say this delicately? Hygienic.

Travel is risky, people... you've got to look out for yourself and play the game right. But fear not, itinerant patients and friends, I've been there, done that, and lived to tell the tale and pass on the tips to you, so that I can write off my flight expenses.

First, choose your seats wisely. How? Aah... Truthfully, I am reluctant to share this secret, lest we are on the same flight and you score the better seat at my expense. But as a doctor I am obliged to help... so let this this be a testament to just how much I care. I use a site called 'seat guru' to look up the best seats - each is rated for comfort, proximity to the lavatories, leg room etc. I log on early and select strategically - in this case I chose a lovely second row coach seat with no seat in front of me. Now, I'm not a tall person by nature, but the extra room made all the difference. I could visit the facilities without disrupting my neighbours, I did not have the displeasure of a seat in front of me resting in my lap for 6 hours, and I was able to stretch as needed, see below. On the return flight I was less fortunate, crammed in a regular aisle seat with the common folk, having walked past empty first class pods that taunted me, making me wish I was really, really rich, or a pea.

B) Stretching is important to prevent stiffness from settling in, as well as to prevent deep vein thombosis (DVT - things are always much more ominous when known by an abbreviation). The dangers of DVT (blood clots developing usually in the legs) have been documented, and although this is more prevalent in certain populations, for example the elderly, people with blood clotting disorders or those who have had recent surgery, a few simple exercises can help reduce the risk. The important thing is to keep the blood moving - get up and walk around periodically, and flex and contract the calf muscles to pump the blood up from the lower legs. Just please, when doing so, try to avoid kicking the seat in front of you, especially when I'm in front of you. Yeah, I'm talking to you, 49C.

My favorite glute/lower back stretch is the figure four position: an ankle on the opposite knee, bend forward at the hips without rounding the low back. To stretch the neck, simple range of motion exercises will do (ear side to side, look over each shoulder, chin down, and then chin down to each side...), as well as shoulder shrugs. I suppose I'll have to upload some pictures. Give me some time, I'm still jet lagged. Check back here.

Or you could be like the contortionist I saw, doing the splits and what appeared to be a full yoga routine in the narrow space behind the last row of seats and the flight attendants' lounge (you know, the space with all the mysterious metal cabinets... where they prepare the fish pie!).

Finally, entertainment. This is the one area where airlines have improved dramatically. I suppose it is in keeping with the general decline of Americans' expectations and attention spans -"you can't just feed us crap, treat us poorly, cram us in and expect us to pay for for it... this is unaccept- hey, there's a TV screen 4 inches from my face! Sweet!" I don't generally watch much television, and I'm definitely dumber for having flown this trip, witness my viewing schedule:

I Am Legend (New York destroyed, featuring scary monster things. Actually loved this, was kept on the edge of my seat, made only possible by the extra leg room afforded to me)
p.s. I Love You (warning, if your emotions are running high for any reason, or if you are not a robot, you will cry. As in tears pouring down your face, sobbing hysterically, making people around you uneasy... please watch this film)
Cloverfield (New York destroyed, featuring scary monster things. I Am Legend without Will Smith)
The Savages (what the? I normally love Philip Seymour Hoffman, but this was booooring, I turned it off).

Then came TV, 'cause at this point I was too dumb to read... Arrested Development (Bob Loblaw... ha!), Flight of the Conchords (have you seen this yet? Brilliant!) and The Simpsons, an episode centered oddly enough around flying.

To reiterate, I don't watch much television any more, but I'm not so fancy that I can't appreciate a good Simpsons episode now and again. And I think Homer Simpson summed up the coach experience perfectly: when asked if there was any difference between flying in a private plane (or in this case, those fancy pods up front) and coach, he exclaims "are you kidding? It's the difference between champagne and carbonated pee."

Next time, I want champagne.

Reading a book in a Roman Bath

2008-06-27T18:13:00.002-04:00

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen...

2008-06-24T11:00:00.000-04:00

Good-bye!
Or rather, à bientôt!

I'm off for a jolly holiday. I shan't say where I'll be, except that they talk funny there, and I'm packing light.

I'd like to say that I'll be off studying brand new chiropractic techniques, learning the latest advancements in chiropractic technology... actually, what I'd really like to say is that I'll be sitting on a beach in Greece being hand-fed grapes by my very own Adonis. So let's just say that reality lies somewhere in the middle, between scholarly and sybaritic. I'll read a book in a Roman bath.

Assuming the locals have tapped into an electrical source and discovered the internets, I will do my best to update while I am gone, on things chiropractic and not. Possible topics include:

Is the sound of a spine 'cracking' different in a foreign language?
How to protect your low back when stuffed into an economy seat.
How to protect your sanity when stuffed into an economy seat.
Chiropractic abroad - different than chiropractic a-man?

I'll return after the long weekend, until then, Dr. Bain will be taking care of my patients. If you need to see him in my absence, rest assured you will be in good hands.

I wish everyone a safe and enjoyable long weekend!

Adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu...

The Power of Ow

2008-06-21T17:17:00.002-04:00

So I've been reading Eckhart Tolle. In general I try to do whatever Oprah recommends, praise be she. But this guy - I'm just not sure. He writes about the power of now, coincidently the title of his book. His basic message seems to be: live in the moment. Granted I'm only 36 pages in at the moment, but I'm not sure what he is going to write about for 311 more pages! That's a lot of now... He claims the past and future don't exist, tells us to let go of the ego (now THERE is a complicated word... has Mr. Tolle read Ayn Rand?) and to think less.

This got me thinking (!) about pain perception. He spends many pages asking you to observe your thought process, to watch your mind think, to disassociate. I wonder if we can't do the same with pain - recognize that it is just that - a sensory perception. He writes that by dwelling on past pain (physical and emotional) we recreate and maintain that painful state.

Pain is emotional. Rare is the patient who will say 'it hurts, but it is just pain'. Pain is rarely 'just'; rather it is unfair, all-encompassing, and unique - no one else could possibly understand our particular pain. It can't be quantified, though we doctors try, asking you to rate it from 1 to 10 - but really, what does a 7 feel like? If my pain is an 8/10 and yours is a 4/10, do I hurt twice as much? What does pain FEEL like? Teenage boys, what with their fabulous communication skills sum it up best: "Derek, what does the pain feel like?" "...mumble...it hurts." Insightful. By definition pain is a subjective experience, though we don't usually remember that it is just that, an experience. It seems to be more of a state of being: we are IN pain.

I treat a psychologist with whom I have many interesting discussions about pain and perception and mind-body connections and disconnects. He mentioned that he was studying meditation, and that it has been noted that the brains and pain perception patterns of chronic pain patients are different than those of 'typical' people. We talk about 'body scanning' and meditation for these people. Basically, let's say your right knee hurts. A lot. You hurt and hurt and hurt, and your body is always very focussed on your pain. Nerves work on synaptic connections and demonstrate plasticity, that is to say that nerves can modify their firing patterns in response to repeated stimuli. In non-nerd language that is to say that your brain can change. So, think about knee pain knee pain knee pain... and the nerve pathways that convey information about knee pain become very active and easily activated. And since pain is just a nerve message, the message becomes more constant, more present. Your knee hurts ALL the time, it is all you think about, all you feel.

Using meditation and 'body scanning' techniques, you can change these pathways. Use plasticity to your advantage. Rewire your brain. Often done at the end of a yoga class, you focus your attention on different body parts, working your way up the body. When you focus on the ankle, you focus only on that joint. You feel the individual bones there, you send your breath there. You *see* your ankle, you feel the air on your ankle, and nothing else. Move on up, to the shins, to the knees. The important (and challenging) part of this is to observe and perceive, but not judge. When 'scanning' the knee, we might note that there is pain. That it throbs, that it feels heavy. Observing the sensation, but not emoting it. In other words, "the right knee hurts", not "my KNEE is KILLING ME!!!". Onward and upward, to the thigh and beyond.

By practicing sensing parts of the body other than the chronically painful knee, we start to deactivate the constant brain-knee pathway, and activate the brain-rest of the body pathways. It is new-agey, but it is also science. Living in the now means letting go of our pain, and when that is less possible, because hey - it hurts, noting it and moving on. Treating the cause of the pain and accepting that right now we need to deal with this situation, but not defining ourselves by it, or worrying about it.

Hmmm. Eckhart Tolle might be on to something. I'll finish reading the book (...one of these days, I have been recently sidetracked by a book titled "Twinkie, Deconstructed", all about where each of the ingredients in a Twinkie comes from. The origins of high fructose corn syrup, polysorbate 60, modified corn starch. It is a fascinating, if not nerdy read.)... where was I... damn thought-tangents...

Gah. If anyone needs help staying in the 'now' it is I. But at least my knee doesn't hurt!

Penultimate Fighter

2008-06-17T20:30:00.005-04:00

I'm not a violent person by nature. I'm more the 'make love not war' type, and I've been known to ask my boxing opponent if we can't just get along, and would they like a hug? In the words of Michael Jackson, I'm a lover, not a fighter. That, and ma ma se, ma ma sa, ma ma coo sa. True that.

So no one was more surprised than my husband when I came home and announced that I had found my true passion, and it was kickboxing. He has since joined me, and we are discovering what the angry and violent have known for some time - hitting things is fun. It is great for cardio-training, strength-building and aggression-releasing, and also builds up your self-esteem, a delicate structure that will be toppled when you actually WATCH yourself boxing on video.

Can you just imagine how intimidating I'd be in a real fight?!

Best of all, this workout really doesn't require much preparation or equipment. Boxing gloves help, but are not necessary. Boxing pads help, as do a punching bag of some sort, ours is named Jon. Again, not necessary. In fact, while on sabbatical this summer, my husband has been instructed to keep up his training by 'shadow boxing', basically hitting the air. Our trainer/punching bag gave us a CD of Bas Rutten, some big shot dutch fighter, calling out punch and kick combinations. It sounds pretty funny as is, but when I put it to music I realized just how out of touch I am with the typical Ultimate Fighter. Imagine an angry dutchman yelling out 'ONE! AND A FOUR! LEFT RIGHT LEFT HOOK! NOW THREE HOOKS!' to the following soundtrack:

Gonna Fly Now - Rocky theme (duh)
Gwen Stefani
Danger Zone - Top Gun Soundtrack (why is this on my itunes?)
Kung Fu Fighting
Gavin Creel - check him out!!
Physical - Olivia Newton John
Feist
Spice Girls - hugely popular with the mixed martial arts crowd
Rockit - Herbie Hancock - who doesn't love this song!

So you can see that I'm even less likely to be dee-jaying an Ultimate Fighter event than fighting in one. Which I have to admit, I considered when I learned that Amanda Lucas, daughter of George, had joined the women's MMA league. How cool is that?

Until I saw her photo... I'm sure she is a lovely lady outside the ring, but this is just not my style. There is blood on her face! And she is all sweaty! That outfit does nothing for her figure, and the fly-aways on her hair are giving me an anxiety attack. Frankly I'm already intimidated, and considering asking her if she would like a hug... after she cleans up, that is.

I'll stick with hitting people I know, and working on my patented 'LEFT, RIGHT, FLAIL ARMS, LEFT, GIGGLE' combination.

My bad...

2008-06-12T09:00:00.015-04:00

When my husband pointed out a grammatical error in my last post, my first thought was "that's unpossible". But, as usual, he was correct.

He is the kind of guy who within seconds of picking up a menu says, "I found two typos. They spelled zucchini wrong and put an extra g in the vegetable curry". I, on the other hand, am the kind of gal who within seconds of picking up a menu says, "do you want to share the sweet potato fries" and "why is our food taking so long to come!".

So I will correct and admit my transgression: using affect where effect should have been. Does this warrant a written, public apology? Could I not have just subtly fixed the error and moved on?

No.

See, mistakes like these DRIVE ME NUTS. They represent laziness, carelessness, sloppiness, all the worst 'nesses. I worry about the next generation who consider texting to be sophisticated communication, & imho R lol-ing there way to inanity. We need to care about these things! If you made an error, like a typo, or (gasp!) misusing then and than, I would likely notice. I'd try not to judge you (hey, it happens to the best of us, see: affect/effect), but I'd notice.

So if you spot a mistake here, feel free to let me know. Gently, please.

We can all stand to be corrected now and then!

You are what you eat, Turkey.

2008-06-09T21:51:00.003-04:00

It is said that you are what you eat. This makes sense, what else could you be? What you wear? What you do? What you think? You think therefore you are, or you are, therefore you eat?? Do we even think anymore about what we eat? What is the doc even talking about!?!

Food is our fuel, it is what nourishes us and becomes us, our substrate, substance and sustenance. Why then do people forget that just like a pill put in the mouth will have a profound effect on the body, the food we stuff in our maws also has profound (and often ROUND) effects on our bodies. Myself included... make no mistake, this is NOT simply a forum for me to preach. I need reminding of this as much as the next little piggy (particularly the one who ate roast beef...).

You see, I recently found myself in a carnivorous frenzy. Maybe it was the springtime call of the bbq, or the tantalizing sound of sizzling beef stimulating my ears and taste buds alike, but I could just not meet my meat needs. My blood thirst was relentless - burgers of all types (beef! lamb! duck!), kebabs both shish and not, makin' it bacon all the time!! If it once had a face, I wanted it seared and on my plate.

Sometime during this rapacious phase I tried to paint a porch and ended up in pain (my loyal readers will remember. I'm doing much better, thanks for asking.). Poor me and all that, but one night during my pity party a friend treated me to a cooking lesson at the Big Carrot. Salivating at the prospect of preparing some exotic organic beefy dish, imagine my disappointment when in front of me was a big gaudy bowl of... vegetables. You don't win friends with salad! The colours were blinding - red, orange, yellow, and so much green! We learned how to make vegetable soup, vegetable ragout (vegetable soup, less liquid) and veggie dip to dip our veggies in. It was a lovely class (thanks Lisa!) and I learned a lot of techniques that will be sure to remember the next time I order vegetable soup or veggie ragout or veggie dip.

But the best part, and the POINT of this post, is how I felt. BETTER. That night, my back hurt less. The next morning, I felt BETTER. Noticeably, significantly better. And since I'm no dummy, I thought... what did I do differently? The answer hit me like a sack of carrots - I inadvertently detoxed! Meat is highly inflammatory. It is known to exacerbate symptoms of arthritis and autoimmune diseases. Acute pain is largely due to inflammation. Those hippies had taught me a lesson (though sadly it wasn't 'how to prepare organic beef stroganoff') - it was time to step down from my post at the top of the food chain, as delicious as the view there was. Essentially, don't have a cow, man. (groan. sorry.)

See, we are what we eat. All that delicious, delicious meat was just adding fatty fuel to the fire, and the fire was getting too hot. So on what is a former carnivore to dine? Steamed bok choy. Brown rice. Salmon. Chick peas. Avocados. And when I do indulge (full disclosure: I am now on a dangerous ice cream kick. BUT: I've discovered a way to justify it - Kensington Market Organic Ice Cream, at Queen and Palmerston...) ... where was I... yes, when I do indulge, and I do, I try to make the more healthful choice. Organic, real foods win. Especially in flavours like vanilla cardamom and lavender blueberry. I'll be there every Sunday afternoon this summer...

Hippocrates said, "Let food be thy medicine, thy medicine shall be thy food".

Smart guy. Thou should listen to him.

Why not?

2008-06-05T08:18:00.001-04:00

Why did this happen, Doc? What is causing my pain?

Is it because I exercised/slept on the couch/went dancing in stilettos/exercised on the couch in stilettos?

The answer is: yes, all of the above, and then some. Truthfully, I usually won't know WHAT caused your pain because there is rarely ONE incident that caused it. The way you are today is the result of everything you have and have not done to date. That car accident in the early 90's that you didn't seek treatment for, the year you crashed on your friend's futon, the horrible chair at work, these matter. Yesterday's hard workout may have coincided with the onset of your current pain, but it was likely just the (wait for it...) straw that broke the camel's back.

It is ironic that we want so much to know why we hurt when we hurt, but care so little about our well-being when we are, well, well (actually, Alanis, it is less ironic than incongruous). One could argue that we want to know why so as to not do that again... but one would be wrong. Say I concur that your head is indeed sideways because you slept funny - now what, never sleep funny again? Or you postulate that you put your low back out driving to Buffalo for some last minute Tar-jay shopping - now what, no more bargain border shopping? Few of us when well want to know how to remain that way or become well-er (!). But the injured? They are suddenly VERY interested in injury prevention.

When someone has a heart attack, do we blame the last cheeseburger he ate (sob... if only he hadn't ordered the COMBO!!!)? We want to know the cause of our problem, the reason for our suffering, but really, we should be less concerned with the tipping point, and more focused on the process. Health and wellness are a journey, a culmination of choices and decisions over time. Where you are now is the result of where you have been, and all we can really do about it is deal with the present and choose to act right for the future.

Am I clear? I'll try to be less cryptic and more chiropractic.

Make good choices now. Take care of yourself now. See a chiropractor now, before you NEED to. It seems that the people who see me regularly, before they are in agony, have a lot less problems than those who wait. They hurt less frequently and less intensely. And when things do go awry, a pinch here, extra stress there, perhaps some bad luck mixed in with bad timing, the regular Joes get better faster.

They don't have to ask WHY they hurt, because the answer is 'sometimes it happens', and they are too busy getting better.

I don't even care what showed up on your x-ray (actually, I DO care - very much! Just not in the way you think). If you think a bit of arthritis on x-ray explains the pain you've had for 2 weeks, think again. It may contribute to your problem, but structure does NOT always equal function, and whatever shows up on radiograph likely predates your present complaint. It was there before you hurt, and will be there after.

So let's talk ergonomics and work on a stretching routine, and remember to book your follow-up visit. Let's worry less about what went wrong and focus more on how to fix it and then keep it from happening again. When you feel so great that you wonder WHY you are coming in, then I've done my job.

Happy Monday!

2008-06-02T11:33:00.006-04:00

Some people don't like Mondays (The Boomtown Rats and The Bangles, to name a few). But perhaps our Monday-phobia is just a state of mind?
This morning is beautiful! A lovely, perfect spring day. I woke up feeling limber-er. When I looked out my window, I saw a Blue Jay (the bird, not Kelly Gruber - wouldn't that be weird though?). Then, another blue jay! Then, I kid you not, the blue jays kissed.
And I just knew it was going to be a great day.
And to top it off, all weekend I've been trying to think of a song... it has been eluding me - but on the way to work, I suddenly remembered it - how satisfying! (The song was Mad World, by Gary Jules, if you are interested).

Happy Monday, everyone!

I Feel Your Pain

2008-05-30T14:17:00.004-04:00

I do.
Actually, worse than that (for me, at least), I feel MY pain.
And it hurts.
I've said it before - I'm no stranger to back pain. It is how I got into this profession in the first place (for the free care!) and although I manage quite well these days, I am still human (for now) and vulnerable to the same problems that plague you, the non-chiropractors. Patients often find this surprising, that their chiropractor should experience back pain. I suppose it is ironic (in the Alannis Morrisette incorrect usage of the word way), don'tcha think, or perhaps there is an element of shadenfreude involved - the chiropractor has back pain!!
But... ouch.

So what's an achy chiropractor to do? The first thing is to ice the injury. Ten minutes on, ten off, ten on again. The goal is to reduce inflammation - it is the key to most acute problems, and breaking this cycle is paramount. Whatever you do, don't heat a fresh injury! You wouldn't put heat on a sprained ankle - don't treat the back any differently. When in doubt, use ice. Some people find taking an anti-inflammatory helps, but this may not be appropriate for all people. Ice really is the safest anti-inflammatory, and natural substances such as ginger and bromelaine (from pineapples) can reduce inflammation too.

The next thing to do is to get care. Whatever care works for you - a massage, an adjustment, acupuncture... do something. The goal here is to prevent the compensation that your body will implement to guard the injured area. These things escalate - best to nip the problem in the bud. When people come to see me with a week-old injury, I not only have to deal with the original problem, but remove all the guarding and spasm that have built up since. ASAP is usually best.

Stretch the area, gently. Immediately stop any stretch that causes or increases pain especially sharp pain or leg pain. In the neck it may be best to avoid forcing the joints to move - focus on stretching the shoulders instead. Don't bounce into your stretches or force them - relax into the movement, use your breath. Stretch many, many times a day - hourly if possible. Once before bed is not going to be enough. Watch the video below - my basic emergency low back stretches. (oh, for crying out loud, I made an Oscar-worthy movie for you, and I can't upload) (Ok, praise be the internets, the video is now up... but the instructions are too small to read. Oh well. Just follow my lead, do what I do. Sorry about that!)

Finally, take deep breaths, relax, meditate a bit. Let your body heal, and know that this pain is temporary. Give your body the rest it needs.

I know personally that this last part is easier said than done. I tried to paint my porch on the weekend, and only got so far as stripping loose paint when this episode hit. Now my porch looks worse than when I started, I have to put my workouts on hold while I heal, and not to complain too much, but did I mention the pain? Poor me. I'm reminded of being in similar pain a few years back, and frankly it scares me a bit. Patience is not coming easily right now. Frustrating!!

But I'll try my best to relax. I'm going to ice the area and get adjusted by Dr. Bain. I'll make the time to see Lisa Quaning for some acupuncture, maybe get another massage. I'll opt for light yoga instead of push-ups, and well, I'll just have to deal with this minor, temporary set-back. I like to think that when my back is sore, it is just the universe giving me a refresher course in empathy, reminding me what it must be like to be a patient coming in, scared and in pain.

I know.

I'm feeling it too.

To all those suffering with me right now (and judging by my schedule lately, there are a lot of you!) hang in there... we'll get through this!

Road Rage (and...how to protect your low back in a car!)

2008-05-24T05:03:00.026-04:00

I am a good driver. Sure, I get a little distracted at times, what with phone calls and speed limits and music selection and other drivers... but I've mastered the basics and I know the deceleratrix from the velocitator. I'm accident free since the last one, and I think that record speaks for itself. More important, I'm a NICE driver. I don't rush since I'm always JUST on time anyway (depending on the grace period), I always signal, and I do the head bob AND the wave to thank people for letting me in front of them.

I am alarmed, however, at the way that human behaviour mutates when perched on four wheels - we become so brave and indignant! Cut someone off on foot and you'll likely hear 'hey! watch it!' (cut off someone's foot - whole different reaction). But behind a windshield, even the most mild-mannered kindergarten teacher is spewing profanities and cursing your existence. IT WAS MY TURN TO GO THROUGH THE STOP!!! STUPID &^#$*&%!!

People, why are we so angry? Why the need for asterisks* & ampersands? Why do we spread such negativity? Why do we become so self-righteous when automobiling that we are outraged when our fellow motorist makes an error? Especially, and this matters, one that DOESN'T HARM YOUR BODY OR YOUR VEHICLE?

I'd like to expound on this last point. Why do we get so mad at being 'almost hit'? Should we not instead thank our lucky stars/chosen deity that we were not, in fact, in a collision? Be grateful for intact reflexes and good road conditions? BUT SHE PULLED OUT AND WE BOTH HIT THE BRAKES HARD AND THEN NOTHING HAPPENED! Really, does this require an extension of the third metacarpal?

Since you are all dying to read my story: I'm driving north of Steeles, and since I misunderestimate the traffic in Northern Ontario, I'm of course late(ish. It is always relative). I attempt to make a right from a designated right exit lane, only to find that the road is closed (perhaps due to a snow storm? I was north of Hwy 7). I must get back into the flow of traffic heading north, so I signal and edge my way in. It gets a little fuzzy here, I don't recall cutting anyone off, certainly there were no screeching tires and I didn't see my life flash before me so I wasn't aware of a near collision - I was just trying to get back into the flow of traffic. I end up behind a car, who slows down to 40. In a 70 zone. Is she confused? Frightened? Is this the custom among the suburbanites? I muster up empathy and deliver respectful tiny toots of the horn to nudge her along. No, this is DELIBERATE. I'm being punished!! For... oh my goodness, does she think that my right hand lane diversion was an attempt to skirt traffic? I'm mortified! I pull around her (she is driving 40, people!) and we have a chance to chat at a light. I'll explain, she'll understand. Hell, if I wasn't late (and driving) we could become friends and laugh about it over drinks!

She is incensed, because I 'almost hit her'.
?
I don't even recall this near collision! I'm also amazed at the coincidence of (nearly!) running into Northern Ontario's best driver - what are her secrets for never having made a driving error herself? I explain what happened to the vigilante, and suggest that in the interest of preventing motor vehicle accidents, perhaps punishing me by driving 40km/hr was not so safe either, to which she replied, "I can do whatever I want".

And this, I think, is the lesson.

You most certainly can do whatever you want, Lady. We all can.
I want to be a calm, kind, albeit imperfect driver. I want to try to understand that the person who cut me off (insult of insults!) probably did it unintentionally. Maybe they were running late to a job interview, perhaps they just received bad news, or maybe they are just an a$$. But I want to be grateful for all the near-misses, and I want to try to be a more perfect person, if not a perfect driver.
You do whatever you want.
&^#$*&%!!

NOW that we all feel better! Let's talk about your lumbar spine while driving.
The secret is preserving the lumbar lordosis, the curve in the small of your back. Most car seats allow you to become 'C'-shaped, causing the low back muscles to tighten up, and putting your discs in a wedged and dangerous position. The solution is to maintain the normal curve - pump up your lumbar support if the car has it, use an ObusForme or other low back support, or in a pinch, put a small pillow or balled up t-shirt in the small of your low back. Also, remove your wallet from your back pocket - sitting on it can put pressure on the sciatic nerve and will unlevel your pelvis - sure to cause low back pain when driving.

Drive safely and NICELY, everyone!

*wonderful glyph, even better pluralized - say it!

A rant about IKEA and other crap.

2008-05-21T18:03:00.002-04:00

I hate IKEA.

I must have low furniture esteem - I keep going back to this bad relationship. I look forward to a time in my life when I'll sever these Swedish ties, when I'll finally feel deserving of material more substantial than particle board, when I'll stand up and assert, "MY furniture will come PRE-ASSEMBLED!"

But then I find myself in a warehouse drooling over things I can't pronounce, and I ration that it IS more affordable, and with the money I save, why I could afford a trip to Sweden! I oscillate between frugality and entitlement, quality versus quantity.

But today - assembling my new INGOL.F bench for the downstairs studio (rest there while waiting for your massage!) I may have hit a wall (with my fist. Do they sell drywall at IKEA?). It came with a chunk of (real!) wood already broken off. The one thing wouldn't fit properly into the other thing. It wobbles a bit. It rubbed against a wall, and since this real (!) wood has the consistency of sponge, it dented AND picked up paint. I hate my pretty new bench, and I spent the afternoon swearing in Swedish.

Perhaps the real reason I hate IKEA is that it seems to represent so much of what I hate about consumerism. Disposable, excess, mediocrity. And it really isn't that cheap! We have such low expectations, and that seems to be OK. It was broken right out of the box, but I couldn't be bothered to schlep it all the way back to North York to exchange it. The seams don't fit tight, but meh, it's fine. Remember growing up - how you probably lived with the same furniture for most of your life? Maybe some of it was handed down from your grandparents, and maybe it either became a family heirloom or ended up in your university apartment when your parents finally renovated after 20 years? What will you hand down to your children? Your Billy bookcase? This is becoming the way we operate. Disposable furniture, disposable clothing, disposable lives.

I have made some progress though. I splurged on a beautiful, real (!) wood, seats-12 and-will-last-me-forever French dining room table. It looks wonderful next to my particle board kitchen cabinets.

Draw ut hell-vetta, IKEA.

Oh. Since this blog is supposed to relate to things chiropractic... my back was totally sore from assembling my INGOLF.

Can't hold me back

2008-05-17T14:21:00.000-04:00

What is holding you back?
Is it your back?
*waits for laughter from wordplay enthusiasts to die down...*

I am a chiropractor who has suffered from back pain, who almost missed her own wedding due to a pinched nerve, and who has since developed an illicit and embarrassing crush on her neurosurgeon (I ♥ Dr. Tator!)

My x-rays are abysmal, my MRIs confound and astound the most erudite radiologist.

I'd bet dollars to donuts that your grandmother's L5/S1 disc is more intact than mine.

But I am not a victim, I do not accept a life sentence of pain and limitation, and lucky for me, structure does NOT always equal function.

Many people want to see the cause of their pain - they insist on x-rays and MRIs to determine the source, and are often disappointed when nothing is found. Surely there must be *something* there, it hurts! Likewise when that *something* is found, we are quick to do bad math: pain + arthritis = the arthritis in my spine makes me hurt. When we assume that structure (degenerated discs) equals function (low back pain) we set ourselves up as victims of an irreversible process, doomed to experience pain forever. So while I accept that my low back is my Achilles heel (what does that make my achilles tendon?), I don't accept forever.

Frankly, my lumbar spine does not look any better on x-ray than it did 3 years ago, when I experienced a level of pain I did not think was possible. Today I have the same low back, whole different outlook. I refuse to succumb to disc dictation, I will not be a victim. You will never hear me announce that I have a 'bad' back - my back is not bad, it is doing the best it can. It has different needs than yours. It is 'special'. It is mine!

I will kick and scream and punch and fight whatever tries to hold me back...

...with one eye open?

2008-05-14T07:58:00.001-04:00

I'm often asked by patients 'how should I sleep'?
And I want to answer - soundly? Like a baby? Like a log? How should I know?

It is somewhat futile for your chiropractor (or anyone else for that matter!) to tell you how to sleep since your dozing body will do as it pleases. I will share with you some basic tips, but as is the rule with most activities between the sheets, what works for one person may not work for another. So figure out what works best for you.

Stomach sleeping gets a bad rap for being hard on the back. This can be true, as this position forces the low back joints together. People with herniated discs might find that sleeping on their stomach offers relief though, since it puts the disc in a less herniated position. Stomach sleeping can be a pain in the neck - the head is forced to one side, putting excess pressure on these joints for an extended period of time. Excessive is relative though, and if you must sleep on your stomach this can be minimized by un-torquing your body (and accordingly, neck); try sleeping more 'semi-prone' - bring one knee up and end up sort of half on your side, half on your stomach. This can be helped by using pillows to prop yourself up.

Sleeping on your back is often 'best'. It opens up the joints in the lower back, which is great for anyone in acute low back pain - try also putting a pillow under your legs. This is also a great position to use an orthopedic neck pillow (the ones with the bump in them) - great for supporting the curve in your neck.

Side sleeping or fetal position is generally well-tolerated, especially if you are a fetus. Heh. This position, however, can be challenging for some women, especially the more curvaceous ones. Full hips mean that when lying on your side, your spine is actually NOT straight, though putting a pillow between your knees will align you better. Rotator cuff and hip problems also present a problem to the side sleeper, and it may be best to avoid the involved side. A pillow-top will help hips and shoulders sink into the mattress better, making side sleeping more tolerable.

As for mattress type, the best mattress is the one that feels comfortable. I prefer a coil mattress with a pillow-top. Firm is best, but don't confuse the cushion-y feeling of a pillow-top with softness. High coil count makes for a firm mattress. Spend good money on a mattress, but you don't need the most expensive one on the market either. Also - ditch the ancient mattress (or heaven forbid... futon!), irrespective of what you paid for it in 1992. 10 years seems to be the maximum life span of a bed.

Other than this, what can a chiropractor say? As anyone who has slept beside a tosser will attest, we move around in the night and rarely end up in the same position we started in. You can try to choose your ideal sleep positions based on your needs, but if you wake up facing a different direction, don't lose sleep over it (!). As long as you aren't waking up on the wrong side of the bed, things can't turn out so bad, can they.

Crazy is as crazy does...

2008-05-05T23:02:00.003-04:00

I used to resent joggers. Their dedication, determination, the get-up-and-go they so obviously possessed reminded me how stuck I was. You see, I'm like many of you. I don't always make the best choices, I sometimes prefer reading a good book to working out. In fact it took some urging to drag me out of a recent particularly slothful period in my life. So I am especially proud of my present fitness and my ability to stick with it - because I know how easy it is to make excuses.

Three years ago I was recovering from surgery. I pushed myself to recover and did a good job of it, but I was left scared as well as scarred, and many of the physical activities I attempted left me tender and I retreated. When I finally decided to test and push my limits, to risk hurting a little bit for greater reward, I was shocked at what I could do.

See, we all have constraints imposed upon us. Time, budget, family obligations, work, natural abilities. I believe though, that it is a measure of the strength of our character to see how much we are willing to push the limits of these constraints. I had to acknowledge that my injury was no longer an excuse for inactivity. Can't jog? Discover something that you CAN do.

And so I swim. And box. And lift some weights. And I stretch a whole lot. I don't seem to stick with one thing, but I'm in the habit of always doing something. Who knows what I'll be doing next month, next fall, next year? And I'm proud of myself. And I write these notes and post these videos of me doing crazy things so that anyone checking in who might think "she's insane" will know that I'm not (well... maybe a little!), I'm like you, and if I can do spiderman push-ups (crazy!) and take video footage while holding plank pose when three years ago I thought I'd have a permanent limp and never be able to touch my toes (I don't and I can) then you can too. I'm just doing the best that I can - because for a long time I wasn't doing anything at all. The things I'm doing - they hurt like hell. No one said it was going to be easy. But I'm trying to stay focused and I can honestly say that I'm doing the best I can.

So let go of whatever is holding you back. Do what you have to do to make yourself whole again. Get moving, challenge and push yourself, open your mind, try something new. Accept what is right now, and work with what you've got. Give yourself allowance to be a little insane, and know that it will all be worth it in the end. If I can get through it, you can too.

Hear the one about the chiropractor?!

2008-05-04T11:30:00.002-04:00

There are many misconceptions about my profession. Since I aim to be educative, true to my doctor designation, I will gladly answer your chiropractic questions. Even the inane ones (contrary to popular belief, there ARE stupid questions!) - in fact, especially the inane ones. In my early years I was frustrated by chiropractic ignorance, and sought to convert the non-believers. But like a fine cheese, I've softened with age (ewww... that didn't even make sense, did it!?) and I no longer fight this good fight. Love your chiropractor? Tell me all about it, it warms my heart (especially when I'm your chiropractor!!). Open-minded but nervous? No problem - I'll be gentle! In pain but terrified of the 'crack'? I've got tons of tricks up my sleeve, and if the adjustment isn't your thing, we'll find something that works for you.

Ignorant and close-minded? Go ahead and hit me with your best... I'll answer you, but be prepared to either seriously back-up your statements, or to get a potentially sarcastic response to your question (I can't help it, sarcasm is my defense mechanism!). Like the gentleman at a party who asked me in all seriousness if it was in fact true that chiropractors do more harm than good. Really? All that school and money and time invested to dedicate myself to doing harm? Wouldn't that make the Hippocratic oath... hypocritical?

It interests me, however, why such chiropractic misinformation abounds.

I don't believe, as many patients think, that medical doctors are the problem. New med school graduates are learning more about complimentary and alternative therapies, and it is not uncommon to find us practicing alongside one another and referring patients. Some of the old-school docs might have other thoughts, but as I've noted, the halcyon days of 'Doctor Knows Best' are over. Patients are realizing that chiropractic works, and their physicians are learning to accept this and work together.

Often chiropractors are their own worst enemy. As a group we have trouble deciding what our scope of practice should be, and with such varied definitions of what we do, it is no wonder that confusion results. I remember this from my first experiences as a chiropractic patient - I had seen 3 different doctors and had 3 very different experiences. This is definitely a challenge for the profession: to be able to either clearly delineate our scope, or find a way to communicate to the public the different ways in which we practice, so that patients can get the type of care that they want.

I don't mind however, being poked fun at for my chosen profession. It IS funny, what I do. I push on your spine, it makes funny noises... aren't we all 5-year-olds at heart? I often subscribe to the philosophy that life is one big cosmic joke. We all need to lighten up, have a laugh, trust that the cosmos are playing recklessly with our fates and just roll with it. Chiropractors who take themselves too seriously - just like hairdressers, personal trainers, lawyers (ESPECIALLY lawyers!) and everyone else who does the same, deserve to be poked fun at now and again.

Luckily I love a good chiropractic joke.

HA!!!

Rewarding

2008-05-01T13:43:00.008-04:00

I love my job.
I often wonder if this is because I've truly found my calling, or because I'm the type of person to find happiness and meaning wherever I am. But what I do is a lot of who I am, and I can't imagine a different life than this one.

I always suspected I'd become some sort of doctor - I signed up for too many science classes in school and toed the line of nerd-dom too willingly to not acquire some letters after my name. (Interesting fact, etymologists, the word 'doctor' comes from the latin 'docere', meaning 'to teach', although somehow people confuse this noble word with 'someone who can prescribe me an antibiotic'. But I digress.)

I love being a chiropractor. I love that I earned my 'doctor of chiropractic' designation, but I am on a first name basis with most of my patients. I love that I am often a last resort - what an opportunity to really shine, when the 'typical' methods of rehabilitation have failed. I love proving chiropractic skeptics wrong. I love working with my hands, and I love making people feel and function better. This last point is the most powerful for me. I love when a patient returns to me and exclaims "doc, I don't know what you did, but I am SO much better!". You might not know 'what I did', but you've reminded me why I do it.

It is an awesome responsibility, this trust you place in me as your chiropractor, and I don't take it lightly. I'm honoured to doctor you, to teach you about your body, I feel privileged to help you reach your physical goals, I'm grateful for the opportunity to help heal you, and ultimately, I'm glad I know you.

Bruiser

2008-04-30T15:52:00.018-04:00

The great thing about exercising outside with friends is... well, exercising outside with friends. The not-so-great thing? Mother Nature can be a fickle mistress, and today she was COLD. And I don't do well with cold.

But, off we went to punch and push and shiver. (I saw SNOW today!) I'm really enjoying my current boxing kick (I also like kickboxing), it is a great workout, and I get to release my aggression. Plus I look good in boxing gloves, or so I'm told (flattery will stop my flailing arms from punching toward your (general) direction (I'm still working on aim)). I am a little worried about getting carried away - I've been known to become obsessive with new hobbies and interests, and this boxing has really struck (ha!) a chord with me. I found myself wanting to punch not just Jon, our skilled and patient trainer (kellettfitness@gmail.com), but my two companions as well! PUNCH PUNCH! JAB! I'm a WARRIOR! Luckily Jon noticed my inflating sense of confidence, and gave me some tips on defense, despite my insistence that the "best defense is a good offense, LEFT, RIGHT, HOOK, LEFT!"

Apparently you can't just go punching people whenever you want. You either have to pay them, or have a really good reason. In the end, however, I just hope that we can all focus on getting fitter, healthier and happier, and that we can all get along. Since I am generally inclined toward lenity, I'm sure I'll soon stop pouncing on my workout companions and maybe up my yoga practice for balance (did I mention that we have a new Yoga instructor, Jen, teaching in our fabulous new studio Mondays at 6:00 pm?).

Also: I noticed a bruise on my arm this afternoon, and I felt proud - I've always said you haven't really participated in a sport until you've been injured doing it (and what do we do for injuries? Visit the chiropractor!). I even documented the contusion for you... then realized it was more likely from bashing into the freezer door while getting ice for our post work-out margaritas (I mean protein shakes!!). Irrespective, I'm injured, therefore I'm truly a boxer.

Back to punching and violence... well, I think deep down we all just want to be respected, loved, and occasionally jabbed (gently) by someone who cares...
Right?
Right.

Don't believe me

2008-04-29T14:02:00.011-04:00

You all are a gullible bunch (do you know that it is the only word not listed in the dictionary? ha! ha!). I exclude myself from this group because I maintain a healthy (or annoying, depending on whom you ask) sense of skepticism; but unfortunately truthiness seems to be more popular than truism.
I am especially wary (read: i'm difficult!) about trusting 'experts' when it comes to my health. While not exactly a temple, my body is awfully important to me for working, playing and schlepping around my soul. I need it and it needs me (for now) and so I don't accept dubious sources of information easily.

I had written a long, preachy post concerning multi-vitamins, sunblock and modern medicine, but then realized that I was just espousing the type of advice I was warning you against. My thoughts came across more vituperative than I had intended. So I will foreshorten and recapitulate.
The world is full of "experts" who will gladly tell you what to do. Hear them, but don't listen to them. You are unique, you alone know what is best for you.

That said, always trust your chiropractor! :)

Don't trust me, trust yourself.
Don't believe me, believe in yourself.

The world is my gym

2008-04-27T17:32:00.009-04:00

"Exercise" is a funny thing (funny ha ha and funny strange). Really, we shouldn't need to exercise; our cavemen and cavewomen ancestors didn't have gym memberships or Bosu balls (I really want a Bosu ball), and it is not just because they didn't have lululemon available - they were too busy chasing after Wooly Mammoths and Mastadons to be concerned with core strength development. And funny thing, you never saw a fat caveman, did you?
They were just ACTIVE.
But then the Mammoth went extinct, and we started eating pop-tarts instead of nuts and berries, and here we are - overweight, underactive, assuming that running like hamsters on a treadmill under fluorescent lighting for 20 minutes 3 times a week while eating low-fat-low-carb food-like substances will make us... healthy? Happy?
No.
Mix it up. Do things you NEVER thought you could do, like boxing, or hand-stand push-ups. Get outside. Move your body.
Laugh while doing it.
Or at the very least, have a laugh at ME, doing it.

Digging in the dirt

2008-04-24T08:13:00.006-04:00

I LOVE spring. Especially early spring - I like tiny buds on trees, bits of green coming up through the earth, longer days, I like nice weather (don't you?)... and my garden. I'm amazed at how much I love to play in the dirt. The pride I feel when one of my plants grows, thrives, prospers... these are my babies and I find myself eschewing the age-old advice to talk to your plants (I'm told you are only crazy if they talk back!) but cooing at them. My tulips are simply precious, my forget-me-nots unforgettable, and my peonies are surely gifted. They grow so fast!

I've developed a passion for what I previously thought was the domain of little old ladies and hippies - seems I'm a little of both. I have a developed an awareness of the physical demands and skills required to effectively grow things - it is more than just digging holes and putting things in them. This can be back breaking work if you are not careful - but, a-ha, lucky for you, this gardener is a chiropractor, and I will share with you my gardening tips (so far... umm... water and sun are good and don't pull up 'weeds' until you are SURE they aren't young forget-me-nots - d'oh!) and some back-saving tips. And when my body complains that I'm paying more attention to my (darling!) baby rosebush (planted last year... and it lived!!!) than my lumbar spine, I will share this with you too, so you can learn from my mistakes. Do as I say, not as I do. Especially when I do kill my lilac bush by planting it in the shade. Sigh.

My body hasn't complained yet this season, though I've mostly just been clearing leaves and planting pansies. To protect my back, I find it best to get right down in the dirt. Trying to stay clean just hurts - squatting puts a lot of stress on the knees, and bending from the waist makes your back muscles work overtime just to keep you from face-planting in your plants. Sit or kneel, as you are able, and get as close to your work as you can. Don't stay in one position for too long, and take frequent breaks. Pace yourself - the season is just beginning!

Next up - your chiropractor plants a new lilac bush - this time in the sun!

Getting my hands on the internet.

2008-04-21T22:49:00.003-04:00

The nice thing about a chiropractic practice is that it is fairly low-tech. Really, I need my hands. And a spine. Actually, any joint will do - a shoulder, a knee, a wrist... if I can move it with my hands, I'm in business. A table helps, as do various lotions and creams, and I don't know that I'd be very happy without Tina, my office manager, but really - give me some bones to move and my hands to move them with, and I'm a happy chiropractor.

In fact, for the lexophiles out there, the world chiropractic means 'done by hand'. I may use other modalities like ultrasound and acupuncture, but these are the warm-up act for my hands. There is something satisfying in this simplicity, that all I really need to do my job is with me all the time. My hands.

Which is why is was so surprised when it was suggested to me that I get a website, to describe my clinic and our services, to tell you the public, a bit about myself, the chiropractor. What's to tell? I have hands, I move joints with them, you feel better. But smarter people than I insisted that these internets were here to stay, and so www.russellhillchiropractic.com was born. Seven years later I'm still using the same old hands, but so much has progressed; websites, it seems, are not enough. The public wants to know what I think! When I think it!! Blogging, it seems, is where it's at.

So welcome to my blog, where this simple chiropractor will use her hands to connect with you in a different way.

Chiropractic progress!